First date sex

[laktor]

Ok, guys and gals, so how does this happen? Care to share your experiences? This is being started in response to posts by Althea and FloridaRob in Althea's thread. I don't have a clue as to how it's possible to have first date sex. It's never happened to me, but then again, nothing ever happens to me....no first date sex, no second date sex, no third date sex...well, you get the picture. But actually first date sex?....come one. Ladies, I've heard that if you put out on a first date, then you can prolly say goodbye to any second date since guys don't usually give girls like that a second look. At least that's what I've heard. (I'd be back, though!) Anyway, I'm interested in some first time stories and the circumstances surrounding them, if you care to share. Personally, I can't figure out how it could happen on a first date.

[arsby]

I've had first date sex exactly once. I wasn't really expecting it and it's totally uncharacteristic of me. I was visiting a university near mine with a friend and his girlfriend. His girlfriend brought along her friend, and we sat together watching a performance at a cafe. My friend and his girlfriend started necking almost immediately. The young lady sat very close to me, I had my hand traveling up her leg in no time, she had her hand on my crotch soon after. We were planning to stay overnight anyhow (the plan was I would sleep on the couch in the girlfriend's suite), so I stayed with the young lady and <ahem> pleasant things ensued. Now this young lady had a roommate who showed up in the middle of the night who was a ringer for our Christiana, tall and gorgeous. She changed into PJ's and left. Watching her prepare for bed, in shadows in the dark, was enough to get us going once more.
My friend broke up with his girlfriend and I never saw the young lady again.

There was another occasion when I slept in the same bed as a girl (another roommate) I wanted to have sex with who didn't want to have sex with me (embarrassing, I tried really hard). And there was one other where a young lady (yes! another roommate of a friend and there was nowhere else to sleep) wanted to have sex with me and I didn't with her. They don't count.

All of these happened in the early '70's when I was in my 20's.

[wannadance]

i know i must have, i think i know i have, but right now, i cannot remember if or when or the circumstances.so, ergo, it happened in the '60's.

i think it's a lot more fun when you at least know the person....

arsby, by my sleepy count, you had enough women around there at one point where you maybe should have started a bridge game or something, save your lil 'feelings....

i had to laugh. reminds me of life in my small city where i know oodles of people and unfortunately for us all we know who had last slept with whom...

dancer

[artlover]

I have had third-date sex twice. 3 - 2 = 1, so ipso facto, I have had first-date sex.

[Dekoda]

I think first date sex would be difficult for me to have. I need to get to know the person and like them and have feelings for them before I can have sex with them. I guess if she was very attractive to me and on the first date, we really connected and had a great time, then I might feel more comfortable having sex with her.

The thing is, I find that I'd rather not have sex anymore. It's as if I prefer to be the one to say no, leaving them wondering. I could date them forever and never have sex, even though I found them attractive. Sex is more trouble than it's worth, so I avoid it, and by feeling this way, I find it somewhat amusing the way women react to that. It's okay if THEY say no to me, but god forbid a man should say no to a woman. If he does then there's something wrong with him. I look at it like this....why should the woman decide when I should have sex? If she wants to have sex, then I can have sex, but if she's not in the mood, then I can't have sex? No thanks, I'll do it my way.

I have been know to buy a woman several drinks AFTER I've left the bar. I'll see a woman sitting by herself in a bar, so I'll instruct the barmaid to bring her several drinks after I've gone, which is right away. I'll be walking out the door as the barmaid is making her a drink.(I don't think that a woman should have to buy her own drinks). Sometimes I'd wait till she was served her drink, then I would toast her from where I was sitting, then get up and leave. When I did this, I made sure I was well dressed, and drove my reddish-orange BMW (in case she saw me get into my car.) I figured that would play on her mind....having a well dressed, BMW driving stranger buy her drinks without saying a word to her. I bet she went to that bar for many nights waiting to see if I was there again.

[wannadance]

dekota asserts:

I find it somewhat amusing the way women react to that. It's okay if THEY say no to me, but god forbid a man should say no to a woman. If he does then there's something wrong with him. I look at it like this....why should the woman decide when I should have sex? If she wants to have sex, then I can have sex, but if she's not in the mood, then I can't have sex? No thanks, I'll do it my way.

dancer pontificates:

that is interesting because i think the reason anyone , male or female, thinks it's not okay to be rejected sexually is because it's not okay to be rejected sexually. it hurts anyone's heart, very basic rejection. men are supposed to take it in stride as part of their sperm-sprinkling imperative, but women evidently are supposed to see it as a big deal breaker for their nest builder, baby sprouter imperative.

i think it just hurts. no competition or basic resentment, just emotional pain. like there is something very very basic wrong with me if a man who alleges to care about me won't sleep with me/vice versa...

still, your life must be very interesting. every surviving sinew in my body longs to cry out to you: you are NOT a rock, you are NOT an island. and a rock DOES feel pain and an island DOES cry.

but of course, i am way too cool to splash my feelings all over the place. so a gentle lick on the eyelashes will have to do it.

never never never never give up. in yourself.

dancer

[Mrs Roops]

I have no problem with first date sex. When I was single and if it looked like that the guy was only interested in the sex or the date was clearly gonna be a one night stand then I took it no further apart from a snog or maybe a grope. If the date had potential then why not? As for guys losing “respect” for a girl who “gives in” on the first date and so will never give her a second look, well, this does not compute in my mind. IMO that speaks more about a guy’s insecurities more than any thing else. I shagged my husband well good on our first date and I got more than a “second look”!!!

[aggie64]

Dakoda, I salute you! May you carry the standard for MANkind onward and upward. I've gotten into many an argument by stating the obvious: Almost every woman can have sex whenever she wants. Very few men can without paying for it. Thems the facts, Max.

[Dekoda]

dekota asserts:

dancer pontificates:

that is interesting because i think the reason anyone , male or female, thinks it's not okay to be rejected sexually is because it's not okay to be rejected sexually. it hurts anyone's heart, very basic rejection. men are supposed to take it in stride as part of their sperm-sprinkling imperative, but women evidently are supposed to see it as a big deal breaker for their nest builder, baby sprouter imperative.

i think it just hurts. no competition or basic resentment, just emotional pain. like there is something very very basic wrong with me if a man who alleges to care about me won't sleep with me/vice versa...

still, your life must be very interesting. every surviving sinew in my body longs to cry out to you: you are NOT a rock, you are NOT an island. and a rock DOES feel pain and an island DOES cry.

but of course, i am way too cool to splash my feelings all over the place. so a gentle lick on the eyelashes will have to do it.
dancer

But see Dancer, women will never be rejected as much as men are. If a woman is rejected 10 times in her lifetime, that's a lot. A man can be rejected 10 times a month, and you're right, it hurts. After a while, you give up because the pain of rejection isn't worth whatever good you might get from a non-rejection. You get tired of being rejected because each rejection tears down your self esteem just a little bit more, so you'd rather not put yourself in that situation again.

never never never never give up. in yourself.
dancer

Too late, I gave up a long time ago, and now it's a way of life and it's unchangeable.

[laktor]

But see Dancer, women will never be rejected as much as men are. If a woman is rejected 10 times in her lifetime, that's a lot. A man can be rejected 10 times a month, and you're right, it hurts. After a while, you give up because the pain of rejection isn't worth whatever good you might get from a non-rejection. You get tired of being rejected because each rejection tears down your self esteem just a little bit more, so you'd rather not put yourself in that situation again.

Too late, I gave up a long time ago, and now it's a way of life and it's unchangeable.

I certainly agree with you dekokda and feel with you. Yes, a woman can usually get sex anytime she wants it. If she's out with someone and gives any kind of signal at all that she wants it, very rarely will a guy turn her down. However, we all know it doesn't work the other way around, right? Men do get rejected way, way more than women do. Since I've not had a relationship, a girlfriend or whatever you want to call it, and of course not had sex with any girl I've ever gone out with, then I have been "rejected" by every girl I've gone out with. There comes a point when you either feel "numb" when it comes to rejection and it doesn't hurt anymore (which is very rare, but I've known guys like this) or you just don't want to deal with that kind of pain anymore.

[justjohn]

Early in my mid to late teens, after falling for all the bullshit that guys dish out, experience taught me that if the chemistry is not there then back off. Yes, I admit to being sexually precocious then, but was always mindful that by allowing guys a good feel was not always an open invitation for anything else. If the chemistry felt right then why not go for it and I never ever concerned myself of his opinion because I was getting what I wanted and made sure that I was served well. If he didn't come back then that's his loss, especially the weak, egocentric wanker who got me pregnant at 18. After this guys did not feature in my life into well into my days at Uni.

Justine

[Dekoda]

I certainly agree with you dekokda and feel with you. Yes, a woman can usually get sex anytime she wants it. If she's out with someone and gives any kind of signal at all that she wants it, very rarely will a guy turn her down. However, we all know it doesn't work the other way around, right? Men do get rejected way, way more than women do. Since I've not had a relationship, a girlfriend or whatever you want to call it, and of course not had sex with any girl I've ever gone out with, then I have been "rejected" by every girl I've gone out with. There comes a point when you either feel "numb" when it comes to rejection and it doesn't hurt anymore (which is very rare, but I've known guys like this) or you just don't want to deal with that kind of pain anymore.

I guess in my case, I've become comfortable in my aloneness. I like being alone, since I can't be hurt that way. I find that I avoid any possible situations that could result in my meeting a woman. If circumstances are such that I'm forced into a social situation where women are present (weddings for example), then I'll be my usual, charming, sociable self, but I won't allow myself to feel anything for any woman who might give out signals to me. I'll smile, enjoy their company, and when the party's over, I'll leave. That's it.

The odds of me ever having an intimate relationship with a woman again is zero, and I'll make sure it stays that way. Heck, I could meet a woman at some social event, and she could be drop dead gorgeous, have a super sexy figure, give out all kinds of signals that she's hot for me, and if she wanted to take me home to have sex all night, I'd separate myself from her long enough to find the door and leave before she notices I'm gone. (To be honest, if she looked like that and had the hots for me, then there had to be something wrong with her anyway.

[Dekoda]

One thing that I have always found interesting is when women get upset when they find out the guy they've been dating the last few weekends, isn't the guy they thought he was, probably because he lied to them. These are the same women who wear eye makeup to make their eyes look better than they really are, contact lenses to change their eye color, makeup to hide the imperfections on their face, dye their hair to a color that they think makes them look sexier, wear pushup bras to make them look like they have a bigger bustline than they really have, girdles to make them look thinner than they really are, pantyhose and high heels to make their legs look shaplier than they really are, and then complain that men aren't being truthful to them.

At least with men, you get what you see.

[piper5b03]

I've been on a long posting hiatus, so for those of you that don't know me (probably everyone) I'm 32 from the middle of the USA. My sex life started of slowly, I got my first kiss when I was 18 and didn't lose my virginity until I was 22. Since then I've had sex (intercourse, penetration, I've had some oral only experience that I'm not counting) with about 30 women. I say about because I may have forgotten someone, and I'm not counting two escorts and another woman I won't admit to and think it's best if I just pretend it never happened.

Up until now I've been very bad at meeting women in person so I've depended on dating sites like match.com or social sites like myspace. Before we meet, we've usually spent a bit of time exchanging email, IM chats, or phone calls. If those count as dates, then I've never had first date sex. But if we're talking about the first time meeting in person... I've had sex with 16 of my partners the first time we met in person, I did NOT have sex on the first date with 5, and the rest I can't remember for sure. Unfortunately for me, most of these turned out to be one night stands or very short term, which wasn't what I wanted. Maybe having sex too soon kept anything from developing long term. Then again maybe nothing was going to happen anyway so at least I got to enjoy the sex. Oh well, that's my life.

How did it happen? Let's see... (names changed to protect the guilty)

I was doing bookkeeping and customer service for a garbage company when Susie called to cancel service. She was divorcing her husband and the house was up for sale. We ended up talking for half an hour and exchanged numbers. After another phone call I went to her house and we went to dinner. She was short, cute, just over 30 (I was mid 20s at the time). After we ate we went to Target to buy condoms, nothing else. Yes we went to checkout together and I picked the best looking cashier. Ha ha. I was just the second guy Susie had sex with and her (soon to be) ex must have been small because she told me I was huge and I think I'm around average. The sex was pretty good, I came and I hardly ever do when I use a condom. Later she admitted she could have skipped dinner and gone right to sex. I wanted to keep seeing her but nothing serious (she was 5 years older and getting divorced) but she got into a (rebound) relationship with another guy who did want to be serious.

I met Crystal on a dating site. She lived about 150 miles away from me, we had talked on the phone quite a bit for 2 weeks before I went to see her. We went to dinner then watched a movie at her apartment. She said that having sex too soon would ruin the relationship. When we were watching the movie, I would rub her leg and we'd start to make out, she was getting turned on (I could tell from her breathing and her sighs and moans) then said we have to stop, we can't have sex. I tried to be a good boy for a while, then I started touching her and kissing her again. We made out then she stopped us again. I wasn't trying to get laid, I just couldn't keep my hands off her. It kept reapeating all during the movie, we'd make out, she's stop us, I'd try to behave, then we'd start again. After the movie we went to her bed, just to sleep, but we started making out, touching, and neither of us could stop. We had sex, went to sleep, woke up and started having sex again. She wasn't on birth control and I hadn't put a condom on but luckily I was able to pull out in time. (I think sleepy middle of the night sex is responsible for most unplanned pregancies.) Then we woke up in the morning and had sex again. She got up and got ready for work, and told me that because we had sex the relationship was ruined. I didn't agree and thought it was dumb to 'break up' but she wouldn't change her mind.

I also met Holly on a dating site, we hit it off really well and talked every minute we could for three days. She lived about 100 miles away. She was working as a night manager and I went to see her Sunday morning after she got off work. Both of us had sky high expecations, I was thinking she could be the one (after 4 days, I must have been fucken retarded) and she was way too into me. I got to her house, she was really tired, asleep on her feet really, so we didn't talk much. She had a surprise for me, she took me to her bedroom and her bed was covered in rose pedals. It was so cool I was just speechless. We undressed and got into bed. Her heat had been off all night while she was at work so her house was freezing. We had sex but it was hard since we had to stay under the blankets. Afterwards I wanted to give her a massage or snuggle, she wanted me to leave so she could sleep. I could tell something was wrong and knew that she didn't like me anymore. When I drove home I was crying inside cause I had liked her so much. I called up a female friend and she was nice enough to lend me her shoulder. By the time I got home I remembered a quote from Cassanova, that nothing makes you forget a woman like another woman. So I called up another girl I had met on yahoo personals and she was free that afteroon. So I hung out with her for a couple hours at a bar and grill. That day I put 300 miles on my car, met two girls, and got laid. Holly sent me an email later that she wasn't attracted to me. I don't get it, but I'm over it now and it's a really good story.

I met Stella online and after a few emails I called her on a Saturday afternoon. Neither of us had plans and her roommate was out of town for the weekend. I drove 150 miles to meet her, we went to get something to eat then went back to her dorm room. We started fooling around and had sex. We stayed up until like 4am and had sex 3 or 4 times. We used a condom the first time and went natural after that. She wasn't on birth control. When I was inside her I said that we weren't using protection and if I came inside her she might get pregnant. She said I know, we're being really naughty and that I'd better not come then. She had the tv on MTV and I swear the played Stacy's Mom every hour. It's been four years and I still think about her when I hear the song. FINALLY sleep overpowered hormones. I took her to breakfast the next morning, went home, and she never answered my calls or returned my emails after that.

I emailed Christy on Adult Friendfinder (a website for couples and singles to find sex partners). She was 47 and I was 29. She admitted that it was a turnon for her to be the oldest woman I'd ever had sex with. She came to meet me, we went to Applebees Bar and Grill, then went for a walk at the lake. We made out quite a bit and there was a lot of touching. She was sitting on a bench while I was behind her rubbing her shoulders and maybe a bit lower. We went back to my place, I gave her a full body massage and we had sex. We had sex a second time, went to bed, and then had sex again in the morning. She went home and after that we had I think just one short IM conversation and that was it. She has a son about my age so maybe I was too incestious for her.

I started talking to Jamie on myspace. We started talking on yahoo messenger and talked some every night for maybe 2 weeks. We decided to meet one night at Applebees for a drink and then we'd go back to my place for a massage or hottubbing. I just had a water while I waited for her, then when she got there she just had a water too. She was telling me what jerks some of her ex's were and how she wanted some calm in her crazy life. This brought out the protector in me, I was thinking, date me, I'm good for you. We stayed for less then an hour and never actually bought anything which I think is funny. I did leave a tip for the bartender though. We sat on the couch, I started to rub her shoulders and neck. Before long we went to my bedroom, she took off her shirt and bra and I gave her a nice backrub. (Every time a girl has been comfortable enough with me to take off her top and bra for a backrub, we've had sex.) Then I took off her jeans and massaged her legs and feet. Next her panties came off and I massaged her butt. The she turned over, I did the front of her legs, tummy, and breasts, and by then it was perfectly natural for us to have sex. Neither of us brought up condoms so we just went natural. We started having sex around 9:30 and stopped at 1:30am and I was inside of her for most of the time. It ran everywhere from soft and sweet to rough and wild. She liked having her hair pulled and I gave many good slaps to her butt and breasts. She had to be home at 2am (she was 22 and lived with her parents while she went to college) so we got dressed and I drove her home. On the way I asked if we were dating or when I could see her again. She didn't commit to anything which I took as a bad sign. For the next week she wouldn't return emails or phone calls. Finally she emailed me and said right after that night she got back with an ex bf. I guess she wanted a fling or something. I felt like Jason from American Pie. "I was used. YES! I WAS USED! I GOT USED FOR SEX!" I was dissapointed, she was a cool girl and would have made a nice girlfriend, for a while but totally not forever. What I really felt bad about though was that I wasn't going to get to sleep with her again, the sex was REALLY good. The wierd thing is, she said on her myspace page that she was in a relationship and loved her bf, but she also had a profile on yahoo personals and was logging on several times a week. So IDK WTF was going on.

There you go Laktor, that's how it happens, for me anyway. Right or wrong, good or bad, that's my crazy life.

Piper

[laktor]

The odds of me ever having an intimate relationship with a woman again is zero, and I'll make sure it stays that way.

Well, this is the difference between you and me, dekoda. My odds are about the same as yours...zero, but if by some miracle, an attractive and personable woman does give me signals that she's interested, I will still give it a shot, although, like all the other times in my life, I'll more than likely be rejected again. Yeah, and I know, this is negative thinking, but if you've had nothing but negatives in this area of life and zero positives, then how can you possibly think otherwise?

And I want to clarify something I said in my last post. When it comes to dating, a woman can have sex anytime they damn please if they like the guy and feel like having sex with him. All they have to do is, as I said, give a clear signal, and if the guy doesn't pick up on it, then they can just start kissing him passionately, and if that still doesn't do it, then they can just grope him with their hands. They don't have to worry about a guy pushing them away. 99% of guys will go for it. However, guys can't do this with girls...We all know it. I'm telling you...it really pays to be born a girl because you can have sex anytime you want and you can experience g/g sex as well. As pointed out earlier, straight guys usually can't bring themselves to try same sex stuff because they find it too gross and they can't get sex with every girl they go out with. So girls have the best of everything.

[laktor]

Hey piper, I must have been writing my post at the same time as you were. Anyway, thanks for sharing those great stories. Gee, 30 girls? I've been with lots of girls, too, but they've ONLY been escorts. I've never had sex I didn't have to pay for. If I never went the escort route, I'd still be a virgin at 55. And if I had any experiences like yours, I'd be so greatful that I honestly wouldn't care if I was still single or if none of them ever worked out and still hadn't had a long-term girlfriend. I mean, I want that, but at least I could say I've had some lovin! I do want to ask about "Susie". You said after dinner, you went to Target just to buy condoms? How did the dinner conversation come to the point...yeah, let's have sex, so we'll go and get some condoms?" I don't understand that.

From your post, I'd say that maybe I should try some dating sites, yahoo personals and such? I've tried one dating site and the phone ads thing, but believe it or not, even with some good conversations, I've rarely even gotten a date out of them. In other words, a big waste of money and time. I guess it must just be me...women don't find me interesting or attractive. I don't know, but maybe there's been enough of a time lag, that I should give it another go. I'll tell you this, though. If I had just one, and I mean only one experience in my whole life like one of yours, I'd be thinking back on it every day and smile. And more importantly, it would give me confidence, because I'd know that if it happened once, it could happen again. But, unfortunately, it never happened even once for me. I consider you one very lucky guy.

[Dekoda]

I'm telling you...it really pays to be born a girl because you can have sex anytime you want and you can experience g/g sex as well. ........... So girls have the best of everything.

Well, I don't know about that....I'm glad I'm a guy and wouldn't want to change that. Being a guy has a lot of advantages, like higher pay, more respect in certain areas. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that women should get less respect, I'm referring to what I see in general. I know that women get less respect at the doctor's office because I've seen that happen with my mother and my daughter. It seems that doctor's are less likely to take a woman's problems as seriously as a man's for some reason.

Then there's society's attitude in general. If a man complains about something, he's had a bad day. If a woman complains, then she's either a bitch, or it's her time of the month, both of which show a lack of respect for the woman.

Higher pay for the same work isn't right, but it's an unfortunate fact. I think women earn 72% of what a man does even though they both do the same work.

Being a woman isn't easy laktor, and they have to endure a lot of things that men don't, so I don't envy them for that. Both sexes have pros and cons, and I'd rather stick with what I know about the male condition.

[laktor]

I know what you're talking about dekoda, but when I said that girls have the best of everything, I was talking about the sex thing only. Other that that, I agree that they have a much tougher go of life.

[Dekoda]

I know what you're talking about dekoda, but when I said that girls have the best of everything, I was talking about the sex thing only. Other that that, I agree that they have a much tougher go of life.

Ah, my bad laktor, I misunderstood the first post.

[piper5b03]

Dekoda said "But see Dancer, women will never be rejected as much as men are. If a woman is rejected 10 times in her lifetime, that's a lot. A man can be rejected 10 times a month, and you're right, it hurts. After a while, you give up because the pain of rejection isn't worth whatever good you might get from a non-rejection. You get tired of being rejected because each rejection tears down your self esteem just a little bit more, so you'd rather not put yourself in that situation again."

and Laktor said "I certainly agree with you dekokda and feel with you. Yes, a woman can usually get sex anytime she wants it. If she's out with someone and gives any kind of signal at all that she wants it, very rarely will a guy turn her down. However, we all know it doesn't work the other way around, right? Men do get rejected way, way more than women do. Since I've not had a relationship, a girlfriend or whatever you want to call it, and of course not had sex with any girl I've ever gone out with, then I have been "rejected" by every girl I've gone out with. There comes a point when you either feel "numb" when it comes to rejection and it doesn't hurt anymore (which is very rare, but I've known guys like this) or you just don't want to deal with that kind of pain anymore."


I agree with you guys in that when it comes to getting sex, women have it much easier. If a guy goes out to a club or bar and wants to pick up a girl for a one night stand, he's got to work at it. He might talk to 10 girls and still go home alone. But if a woman goes out with an any cock will do attatude, she'll find someone.

I think what you guys aren't recognizing though, is that women do NOT have it made, they have a completely different set of challenges and problems. Women tend to be much more selective about mates then men are. They have been studies done at speed dating (a singles event where you talk to each date for five minutes, then mark a paper if you are interested in that person or not, if there is mutual interests the hosts put you in contact) and women make far fewer matchen than men do. So yes, a woman can probably get 'a guy' for at least the short term, finding one that matches her tastes, prerances, and desires is much harder. A man might have trouble finding 'a woman', but a woman might not be able to find 'a GOOD man'. Also, because it isn't as acceptable for a woman to apprach men, a girl has to wait for someone to come to her... and wait... and wait.. and wait.. and...

As for rejection, I've let the fear of it limit me in the past, which is why I have depended on the internet so much to meet girls. But the internet really is limiting and I need to move beyond it. I'm starting to think about things differently. First of all, for those familiar with American baseball, a good batter at the professional level will get out 3 out of 4 times at bat. Not only does the hitter only get to base 1 of 4 times, but they only score a run maybe once every 3 or 4 times they get on base. Baseball, at least from the hitter's point of view, is a game of frequent failure with occasional success, much like dating. But if you're going to play the game, you'd better love all of it. Or think about soccer, 60 minutes of running with just a few goals scored each game.

Also, while rejection might sting, after a while I forget about it. I'll remember the women I've had sex with forever. I don't remember the girls that never wrote back. I don't remember the girls that sent back nasty letters about what an asshole they think I am. I just remember the sweet times. Just like the baseball player that looks back at the season and remembers the home runs they hit, not the strikeouts. If a baseball player thinks about the times they strike out, or a basketball player thinks about the shots they missed, or a golfer thinks too much about the shots into the sand traps, they are done as an athelete. And if a guy thinks too much about the girls that said no, they are done too.

Piper

[piper5b03]

One thing that I have always found interesting is when women get upset when they find out the guy they've been dating the last few weekends, isn't the guy they thought he was, probably because he lied to them. These are the same women who wear eye makeup to make their eyes look better than they really are, contact lenses to change their eye color, makeup to hide the imperfections on their face, dye their hair to a color that they think makes them look sexier, wear pushup bras to make them look like they have a bigger bustline than they really have, girdles to make them look thinner than they really are, pantyhose and high heels to make their legs look shaplier than they really are, and then complain that men aren't being truthful to them.

At least with men, you get what you see.

I've never lied about anything but my age, and only on the internet. Meeting online is totally different than meeting in real life. If I meet a girl out somewhere, we could talk for half an hour before she asks 'BTW how old are you' if she does at all. By then she's got a very good idea about who I am, a lot to go on when deciding if she likes me or not. If I send an email on match.com, the first thing a woman is going to look at is my pictures and my age. In the fake world of the net, that's all you've got to go on. She might read migh email and thing 'he seems nice, but he's too old'. Or too young.

The way I see it, if I'm selling a car, and it has low miles, is clean, runs good and looks good, who cares if it's an '04 or '01. But if I say it has 90,000 miles and it really has 130,000 miles, or I show pictures of a car in good condition but my car really has a dented fender, broken headlight, and rust, that's wrong. I would never do that. I would never post pictures that don't relect how I look and I would never say I'm something I'm not. But the year I was born in? Eh...

Also, I don't really consider posting the wrong age to actually be lying. If a woman asks me how old I am, I tell the truth. Putting the wrong age on my profile, well, I didn't really lie TO HER.

Does this bite me in the ass sometimes? Yes. I dated a girl I really liked, she was 19, I was 26 at the time and my profile said 24. She was really upset at first, later said she was over it but I don't think she ever really was. Another girl I met at the same time, I told her my real age and she said ok, so what? When I met my last gf, I was just looking for a fling. I wrote girls at a distance so that nothing would come of it, she was about 150 miles away. Then I fell for her. Hard. I think it was the 4th time I saw her (and should have done it sooner but the time never was quite right) I finialy said, "um, the age on myspace, it's wrong, I'm 31." She just said no big deal, that makes me 10 years older than her and she was fine with that.

As for lying about things that really matter, my opinion is, don't do it.

Piper

[Dekoda]

Hi Piper! Well, I don't lie about anything either, but it's been a long time since I tried to get a date. I've given up on it, and I'm content to just be alone. I always tell the truth, no matter what it is. That trait does get me in trouble sometimes though.....like the time I was having an argument with my wife (now my ex-wife). She said to me, "Well, if that's the way you feel, then why did you marry me?" To which I answered (truthfully), "Because at the time, you're the best I could do!" (See, now that might explain why I'm now divorced...)
I'm 54 and I don't look a day over 53¾. What I was referring to in the earlier post was that men will lie to get a woman in bed. By the same token, women alter their appearance to attract men. With men, what you see is what you get. With a woman, that's not so....what you see is nowhere close to what you get.

The only way I'd ever get a date nowadays is to wait until the bar is about to close, gently grab the hair of the unconscious woman sitting next to me, slowly raise her head up off the bar and say, "Do you want a date?"

[piper5b03]

Hey piper, I must have been writing my post at the same time as you were. Anyway, thanks for sharing those great stories. Gee, 30 girls? I've been with lots of girls, too, but they've ONLY been escorts. I've never had sex I didn't have to pay for. If I never went the escort route, I'd still be a virgin at 55. And if I had any experiences like yours, I'd be so greatful that I honestly wouldn't care if I was still single or if none of them ever worked out and still hadn't had a long-term girlfriend. I mean, I want that, but at least I could say I've had some lovin! I do want to ask about "Susie". You said after dinner, you went to Target just to buy condoms? How did the dinner conversation come to the point...yeah, let's have sex, so we'll go and get some condoms?" I don't understand that.

Laktor, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your complements and I have to say everything you wrote is exactly right. I'm not sure if you understand how profound it is. You're right, I SHOULD feel lucky. The thing is, I've been a 'glass half empty' kinda guy. I SHOULD be grateful for the expereinces that I've had. I SHOULD look back and smile more often. I SHOULD let my good experiences give me confidence in the future. Instead too often I've looked at my flaws and not my talents, my weaknesses and not my strenghts. Maybe I'm rich but I've felt poor, maybe I'm winning but I've felt like I'm losing. Anyway, I'm going to read your post over and over until it sinks in.

I wish I could remember exactly how things happened with Susie but that was 4 years ago so the detials are kinda hazy. I'm sure we flirted a lot during dinner. We were both very attracted to each other, I could tell she was attracted to me and I'm sure she could tell I was into her. It's just like when you just know something good is going to happen, maybe if you play sports you've had the feeling that you just know you're going to win, that you can't be stopped, or you go for a job interview and you just know that it's yours. Or if you leave for vacation and know everything will be perfect. Anyway, I'm sure there was a lot of inuendo during dinner and us hinting about what we'd be doing later. When we were leaving she probably just said that we need to go buy condoms. I didn't bring it up because I knew I was clean and since she'd only been with her husband for 10 years I was sure she was too. Afraid that's about all I can remember about those details.

I've checked out some escort sites and it's kinda tempting. I give a good massage so maybe I could get a discount, or at least quickly become one of their favorites. But I'd never be fulfilled with escort sex, for one thing I like sex to last a long, long time, they want to get it done ASAP. And they aren't fucking me because they like me, but because they're being paid. Plus I owe Visa/Mastercard about a year's after-tax pay so I really can't spend $300 on an escort. So I highly doubt I'd go down that road again. BTW, a former AW model who has become quite a personality Out West (not that anyone would deny she was quite a personality here) admitted to escorting in one of her videos. I found that to be quite... interesting.

Piper

[piper5b03]

From your post, I'd say that maybe I should try some dating sites, yahoo personals and such? I've tried one dating site and the phone ads thing, but believe it or not, even with some good conversations, I've rarely even gotten a date out of them. In other words, a big waste of money and time. I guess it must just be me...women don't find me interesting or attractive. I don't know, but maybe there's been enough of a time lag, that I should give it another go. I'll tell you this, though. If I had just one, and I mean only one experience in my whole life like one of yours, I'd be thinking back on it every day and smile. And more importantly, it would give me confidence, because I'd know that if it happened once, it could happen again. But, unfortunately, it never happened even once for me. I consider you one very lucky guy.

It's up to you if you want to give the personals another look. There's good and bad about it. I won't lie, it takes a lot of time and effort to get results. If I send 10 emails and get 1 reply I'm doing good. It's safe, if you send an email and they don't write back, who cares? No big deal. And it's easy, you can try to meet five or ten women a night without leaving your house. But there is also a lot of competition... sort of. I've heard membership is anywhere from 55% men to 45% women all the way to 90/10 which I doubt. On the other hand a lot of guys are too cheep to pay to send emails. Not sure where in Canada you are, there's the big cities like Toronto and then huge chunks of the country that are much more... remote. The size of the dating pool naturally depends on the population of the area. If Cupid.com has a good membership base where you're at, I would use it. It's the only major site I know that any woman you write can email back, no mater if she's paying or not. With match and yahoo, she can ONLY write back if she's paying. Cupid is a lot smaller than match or yahoo (at least in my area) and I'm not sure why because it's really a good site even if it's search features are pretty weak. If you write a girl on match or yahoo, she might like you enough to email back, but not enought to pay the membership so she CAN write you back. If you want, do this... go to cupid or yahoo, and you can do a free search without making a profile. That will give you an idea of what kind of pool you're looking at. The last time I searched yahoo, there were 500 women within 50 miles of me active in the last week, and 750 within 100 miles.

The question you have to ask yourself is, are you happy with your life? Are you happy being alone? Some people really do have things in their life that are more important than romantic/sexual relationships. If you are ok being alone, great. If not, maybe you owe it to yourself to ask what it is that you want, what you are willing to do to get it, and how can you think about things differently. Only you can decide if it's worth the time or money or effort. Are you doing something more important, something you'd rather be doing? What are you willing to give up to get what you want more? Are you living the life you want, or just passing time. In my case, I've asked myself what would I really rather be doing than meeting girls, dating, and having sex. Nothing. Not porn, not video games, not going to the bar after work to drink. I still have to work through what holds me back, but I'm a hell of a lot better off than when I was playing Warcraft for 50-60 hours a week. Who gives a shit if I have a level 50 orc warrior? I want to get laid!

I honestly have no idea what dating is like for 50 somethings. But I think, assuming that in real life you are about average appearance for your age and in general a nice person, if you stick with the personals long enough, sooner or later you'll find someone. It might take an hour a day for a year. It might take an hour a day for two years. Let me ask you something, if Jesus or Zeus or Morpheus or Luke Skywalker or Popeye or whoever appeared before you and promised that if you emailed five women a day every day on personals sites that after 2 years you would meet a nice, average looking 50 year old woman and spend the rest of your life with her, would you do it? I mean if Wonder Woman or Aslan told me to go downtown to the bars, talk to 20 women for five mintues each and one of them would take me home and fuck my brains out, I'd probably get a speeding ticket on my way downtown. (Great, now I owe South Park like $500 in royalties) In my head I know that if I talked to 20 women, heck it would probably only take 10, one would go home with me. But I'm not doing it yet, so something is still holding me back that I have to get past.

Anyway, if you do want to start using personals, I can share my opinions and experiences if that would be helpful. I don't claim to know everything but what I do know I don't mind passing on.

Piper

[laktor]

I've checked out some escort sites and it's kinda tempting. I give a good massage so maybe I could get a discount, or at least quickly become one of their favorites. But I'd never be fulfilled with escort sex, for one thing I like sex to last a long, long time, they want to get it done ASAP. And they aren't fucking me because they like me, but because they're being paid. Plus I owe Visa/Mastercard about a year's after-tax pay so I really can't spend $300 on an escort. So I highly doubt I'd go down that road again. BTW, a former AW model who has become quite a personality Out West (not that anyone would deny she was quite a personality here) admitted to escorting in one of her videos. I found that to be quite... interesting.

Piper

Piper, you sure can write some interesting posts. There's no way anyone with your "talents" and determination should even contemplate escorts. Why should you? I only began using escorts a dozen years ago when I arrived in Toronto. This is a city full of them and very inexpensive, at least compared with U.S. cities. I could never afford the escort scene in L.A. where I lived for a long time. However, other Cdn. cities, such as Montreal, it's even less expensive there. I've had my share of very nice young escort girls from very reliable agencies and rarely have I been rushed. Believe me, I get my full hours worth. During this time, I've even had two "regulars" who I saw for a period of 4 to 5 yrs. each. Both were extremely friendly girls and just wonderful people as well. They loved their "job" and made me feel loved, even though I know it was only an act.

And BTW, is this former AW model's video still up on the site? If it is and AW was ok with her saying that in the video, then it would be fine to mention her name. If it's been taken down, then just forget it. Everyone on these boards knows I'm a curious guy. By Out West, I suppose you mean Girls Out West?

[piper5b03]

Piper, you sure can write some interesting posts. There's no way anyone with your "talents" and determination should even contemplate escorts. Why should you? I only began using escorts a dozen years ago when I arrived in Toronto. This is a city full of them and very inexpensive, at least compared with U.S. cities. I could never afford the escort scene in L.A. where I lived for a long time. However, other Cdn. cities, such as Montreal, it's even less expensive there. I've had my share of very nice young escort girls from very reliable agencies and rarely have I been rushed. Believe me, I get my full hours worth. During this time, I've even had two "regulars" who I saw for a period of 4 to 5 yrs. each. Both were extremely friendly girls and just wonderful people as well. They loved their "job" and made me feel loved, even though I know it was only an act.

And BTW, is this former AW model's video still up on the site? If it is and AW was ok with her saying that in the video, then it would be fine to mention her name. If it's been taken down, then just forget it. Everyone on these boards knows I'm a curious guy. By Out West, I suppose you mean Girls Out West?

I can't take total credit for my interesting posts, the voices in my head help a lot.... BTW, why is it that crazy people only hear voices that tell them shit like "go kill someone". How come no one ever goes crazy and hears voices that tell them "go find the cure for cancer".

The video I'm talking about wasn't ever on AW, it was on some other site. I've heard GOW mentioned a few times on the boards but I've never seen 'official word' on if GOW is considered an associate or competition and I'm not sure how much discussion of their content is appreciated. Especially considering the subject matter of said video.

Piper

[Dekoda]

BTW, why is it that crazy people only hear voices that tell them shit like "go kill someone". How come no one ever goes crazy and hears voices that tell them "go find the cure for cancer".

Piper

There probably are people who hear voices that tell them to do something nice or to go find the cure for cancer, but since no one got hurt from those voices, you won't hear about them in the news. For all we know, there might be someone who we know who hears voices telling them to be nice to people, but to us, they seem like normal, everyday, friendly people.

[swiftly]

Through no particular plan or fault of my own I more often than not have first date sex. I just seems to happen.I also get told to get lost a lot but I don't follow that through just say thanks anyway bye!

I wouldn' t really think about not respecting a girl if she said yes or no?? I am ready to be respected or not myself I always laugh about it and say I am a tart!

My second sons mother never went home after our first date. I was hot on another girl and asked her out in the pub, the girl said NO I turned to the girl on the other side and asked her. She said why not and we went out ther next day and she never went home for 8 yrs, wel she went home but really stayed with me in a relationship, had a son with me and we are still the best of friends. I am 18yrs older than her.

I think I have a positive attitude and keep up the humour, I laugh of my rejects and keep on the move for success. Generally women are younger than me by a fair way but not always. I like to dance and often start on the dancefloor, I don't think I am a GREAT dancer but I am enthusiastic and have great stamina.

I have had quite some success with escorts, pay the first time and get free time on the returns. I think being nice to women and laughing a lot makes you a target for success. I only get escort for an overnighter so there is plenty of time to play. Then you can become friend and the second call is a Date and you get first time sex well that is how i see it. We never talk about my age until the morning or the next date. When i was in my late 50's I was always considered in my early 40's. Stamina is what does that I guess, good recovery enthusiasm and willingness to wait for the girls makes me a good catch, haha!

Sounds like a boast I don't mean it to be just the facts you asked for. I have had some wonderful surprises, In Vanuatu I bought three girls drinks and chatted to one more than the others. She went to the toilet came back and stuck her toungue deep in my ear, a total surprise! I said " does this mean you are coming home with me?" "Try and stop" me she said. Wow, we went dancing in a few more night spots before going home she was drunk vomited against the door of my car, when she walked in the house she vomited in the sink then in the toilet then we went to bed and she vomited on the floor beside the bed and I asked her if she wanted to stop but she was ademant she wanted to keep going again and again. Wow what a night that was. We dated for about a week then she vanished? she was 26 I was 58 grrrrrr!

But now I am married whoopie sex on the first night .... yep. flew out the next day then emailed and we got together again a mnth later and it has been hot ever since. now I am 61 and she is 23 .. Grrrrrr ! Muaaah ! I just want to go dancing!!!

I only ever dated one girl more than three times without having sex. We were friend for a long time but never had sex ... long time ago I spent NYear naked next to her but she said no... still can't work out why she let me get naked and why she was naked it was so good and soooo bad all at once!!

[wannadance]

that is the funniest account of dating i have ever read, esp, for some reason, the girl who was so sick but so determined....i mean, had i been you, i would have tucked her in with a bucket and a lot of towels and gone to sleep on the couch. but you must have been determined, too. i cannot control myself: did either of you come or was this a sim?

thank you for a great laugh. i don't think i could ever approach much less equal that. that i can recall, anyway. the 60's, ya know?

fancy pants

[cleo]

I've never had first date sex, but I've had one-night-stand style sex once...I was out with a girlfriend and her friend who i'd met once or maybe twice before and spoken to him on the internet a couple of times. she was having a fight with her boyfriend and ended up going to see him, leaving me with this guy I barely knew. We went to a carpark and made out for a whilem, while she dealt with her boyfriend. He was a terrbile kisser and kinda weird, but a nice enough guy. She then called me saying she was staying at her boyfriend's friends house ( a house I'd sworn to never set foot in again after previous experience) and she asked me to come there and stay with her. She knew I was afraid of her boyfriend's friend and I refused to go stay there, but she wouldnt leave her byfriend. I was a long way away from home and stuck with this guy who then said he'd sneak me into his house and I coule sleep there with him. which seemed like an okay idea. we got home and he seemed under the impression we'd have sex, I though, 'why the hell not?' and went along with it.
it wasnt the worst sex ever and probably wouldnt have stayed as a one-night-stand if I hadnt been semi-with two other guys at the same time. and it was very funny sneaking back out in the morning.

Not the best experience, but definitely not the worst.

[swiftly]

that is the funniest account of dating i have ever read, esp, for some reason, the girl who was so sick but so determined....i mean, had i been you, i would have tucked her in with a bucket and a lot of towels and gone to sleep on the couch. but you must have been determined, too. i cannot control myself: did either of you come or was this a sim?

thank you for a great laugh. i don't think i could ever approach much less equal that. that i can recall, anyway. the 60's, ya know?

fancy pants

wannadance it was great sex we laughed and slept and woke and slept and woke and fucked the night away it was good for a laugh very hot to trot both of us she was a dishy girl and i was horny as hell. We both cumed and goeeed enough to be satiated .

[alexbee]

I have had some wonderful surprises, In Vanuatu I bought three girls drinks and chatted to one more than the others. She went to the toilet came back and stuck her toungue deep in my ear, a total surprise! I said " does this mean you are coming home with me?" "Try and stop" me she said. Wow, we went dancing in a few more night spots before going home she was drunk vomited against the door of my car, when she walked in the house she vomited in the sink then in the toilet then we went to bed and she vomited on the floor beside the bed and I asked her if she wanted to stop but she was ademant she wanted to keep going again and again. Wow what a night that was. We dated for about a week then she vanished? she was 26 I was 58 grrrrrr!

B

Gives a whole new meaning to sleeping on the wet spot! EEEWWWWWW....

[Melinda]

I haven't had first date sex before, mainly because I've only been with one person before (my fiance) and I was 17 at the time and a virgin... But even today, I would never have first date sex or a one-night-stand, I'm just not that type of girl... I could never feel comfortable enough to let someone have my body after a matter of hours, even if I was highly attracted to them... That's why it's so amazing to me that I've done these GG shoots, but I class them as different as they are with girls...

So no first date sex for me or one-night-stands... I'm a horny guy's worst nightmare, I would wanna 'get to know them well' before the clothes come off! hehe

Luv Melinda

[asha]

I'm so crazy fussy when it comes to who I sleep with but when I meet someone I like, which is relatively rare, I know straight away and do everything in my power to make sure we have sex as soon as possible.
So i am all for first date sex just so long as you are always discerning