Hello members, models, and everyone else whom I might be speaking to. This thread is based on a random thought. I skimmed the blurb of a Huffington Post article, which seemed to be all about giving up on the "S/he is just not my type" thing, and thus opening the door to finding someone who suits you well, when previous relationships have frequently turned pear-shaped. I can see an argument like that being really good or really bad, but that's not what I'm interested in right now.
What I'm interested is to hear what our peeps here go for.
What gets you about a person when you meet them? And what gets you about them when you get to know them better? Any physical or personality-based attributes which make you weak at the knees?
I have a few, myself. I am a sucker for contrast, and as a spin-off of it, androgyny. A big one for me, since before I even hit puberty, was long-haired men. It always fascinated me, to see something stereotypically feminine work with and sometimes even accentuate masculinity. As a counterpoint, I have really enjoyed rocking my own short 'do.
The attraction to androgyny came later - after discovering my bisexuality, I enjoyed manly men and girly girls, because the wide spectrum of possibilities delighted me. But these days, androgyny is sexy as hell to me. I still love long-haired men, but I have come to like other effeminate attributes about them. Same way I have come to love kind of brash, tomboyish ladies.
But on a deeper level, I think contrast is sexy. Someone who is super pale-skinned, and has very dark hair and/or eyes? Hot. Dark skin and pale eyes? You'll have to pick me up off the floor, I'm afraid I just swooned. But it's best of all when someone is a fun mix-and-match of quirky contradicting attributes. For privacy's sake, I won't go into detail about Mr Immie's successor, but yes, there is a new man in my life. A man with beautiful eyes, pretty hair, and a girlish physique; but also manly workin' hands, steely strength, and the ability to grow a beard which would make the hippest of hipsters weep. I delight in the way a coquettish mannerism contrasts with a lumberjack beard.
There are other, single things which I find attractive:
A mismatched facial feature - think Adrien Brody's large nose, or Peter Mensah's unusually thin lips.
Slanty cat eyes.
Freckles - especially one someone who is actually dark-skinned.
Crows' feet. Oh my god, do those make me giddy - I love the tracks carved by years of laughter.
Veiny forearms, in a man. Meow.
Arm muscle definition, especially in a girl. Jessica Biel's deltoid definition in Blade got me at every turn.
I have come to love shy mannerisms, too. That's part of an appreciation for the larger category of quiet, subtle communication. I love it when someone communicates with a quiet smile, crinkled eyes, an eloquent tilt of the head...
And one of the best things: a quirky sense of humour. That's still what got me about both Fotina and Keilyn; those two ladies were a riot. Same is true of Giselle.
So. That's my ode to what I find attractive. Anybody care to give some input? Some weird little thing that you find ridiculously sexy? I wait with bated breath.
I think attraction often runs in reverse. It is not so much someone having qualities that you like that makes you fall for them, instead the qualities of the person you fall for turn into the things you love. There is nobody more beautiful than the person that you love, love makes their beauty and personality shine like no other.
I think personality wise a good work ethic is important, someone willing to get up early on their only day off and go hiking all day or something (saying that a love of the outdoors is important too) also, I think most people like a good sense of humor, and I test a lovers sense of humor constantly, so a requirement
as far as a type of look...... thats hard because I feel like I sometimes find completely oppisite looks attractive, like a curvy woman with wonderful soft squishy parts, and a firm athletic build can just make me very distracted when they are out for a run, I love super long hair, then I see a short haircut that looks amazing, I love super tall girls but I have a thing for the tiny features of a petite build as well
not sure if its the pessimist in me but I tend to look for turn offs before turn ons sometimes, deal breakers include: fasionistas (I know every woman has a bit of this in her and thats more than ok, but if your soul purpose in life is fasion then move along :P ) being a beggar, like always wanting more than you have the means to afford and begging the ones around you to help you get them, and most of all being boring, this includes never getting out of your comfort zone, having nothing to talk about
From the physical standpoint. I don't think I have a type. I like variety.
Something a little unusual, is that I like large, distinctive, noses on women. I find that a turn on. Yes, I know what Immie means about crows feet or small wrinkles when you see on women. Those little wrinkles are attractive and intriguing.
We can't refer to this new Immie guy as Mr. Immie, that would'nt seem right. How about Steely Lumberjack.
trebor, that is an excellent point, and that is actually how I have come to like certain attributes in people. Mr Immie was the first man over a decade older than me whom I was with, and for a while afterwards, I gravitated towards men who were ten-fifteen years older than me. I think I also acquired my liking for veiny forearms from him; as well as possibly the liking for something slightly strange in the features. I also fell in love with a man half a head shorter than me once, when beforehand that sort of thing was a deal breaker. I am now frequently attracted to men shorter and slighter than me. Another infatuation has permanently made the pale eyelashes of a redheaded man a turn-on. Many of my little likes are relics of past loves, and I continue to be attracted to those attributes, even in the case of the loves which turned ugly on me.
timbo, I get where you're coming from. I think it's totally fair to have a few deal breakers, and in a way, I think that's even better: come as you are, except for these three attributes. That allows more variety and more of an influx of wonderful, unexpected things which you fall in love with, than already choosing what you want the good things to be. It's interesting about the fashionista thing, also. I wouldn't immediately discount someone who lives and breathes fashion, though I would certainly be wary. This is as someone who has actually found quite a bit of self-expression in fashion, and come to read a lot about a person based on their fashion sense. I could imagine someone who is, for example, high up in a fashion magazine and loves their job, but still has other things going on.
In any case, I also don't think that attractive attributes must be mutually exclusive - I like a slender sylph just as much as a bulky, burly specimen. Variety is so much fun, after all!
bookmanz, yes, there is something about a large-nosed woman. I remember watching Spartacus: Blood and Sand with Petria, and Petria noted the presence of Viva Bianca with approval, as a representative of the "big-nosed bitches", as she put it. I also remember a very attractive female love interest with a distinctive nose in that rather mediocre movie starring Damon Wayans, "Major Payne".
Yes, I have pondered what to refer to my new beau as. Perhaps just Beau? There's much more to him than the steeliness and the lumberjack beard. He is also a fine hand with wool and cloth and needle and thread.
What attracts me more than any other physical characteristic are the eyes " the window of the soul " They draw me in even more if they are a sparkling blue or a hazel or a greenish colour. Beautiful eyes always leave me spellbound and weak in the knees, as you say. Also other little traits such as the smile,tone of voice and laughter or giggle and even a certain walk and the overall demeanor all contribute. Another thing that is important to me, since i tend to be a very laid back-easy going type of guy, i fell more comfortable with someone that shares the same quality.
I guess that's it for now since i can't think of anything else atm.....i feel like i just filled out a form for a dating service...
When I saw the title of this thread, "What's your type", I was going to answer type 2, but then I saw it wasn't a thread about diabetes.
To be honest, I don't think anyone has a type. I have found that women of all ages, hair color, tall, short, whatever can be attractive, depending on the woman. I've met women that I'd never have been interested in because they weren't my "type", but after getting to know them, I found myself attracted to them. There are so many different things that make a person attractive to another person. While you might not like their physique, their hair color or style, their height or weight, they may possess some other qualities that you are attracted to.
Many years ago, I was working out in the gym 7 days a week. I had really good muscle tone and I was in really good shape. At that point, my "type" would have been a woman that also worked out and had a great figure. As it turned out, I met a woman who was really overweight and never worked out, but she had a really beautiful face. She had an allure about her that made me want to be with her. She was funny, loving, caring and intelligent. To me, her weight didn't matter, I just loved being with her and having a good time with her. I dated her for 6 months before we decided to call it quits as she only wanted to date and not get into a serious relationship. That relationship taught me that no one has a "type"....everyone has special qualities that make them attractive to someone else. I have found that every woman is beautiful in their own "way", and to a person who is attracted to that "way", they will also be attracted to that woman.
Dekoda, I think your usual "type" can be overriden, and that the rigidity varies from person to person, but I still think you can have things you are specifically attracted to. I do think it's a lovely surprise though when you find yourself blazingly attracted to someone who is absolutely different from what you perceive your type to be at the time - case in point, my torrid romance with a short man, when that had once been a deal breaker.
tj, I feel you. I recently met a young man who has eyes of a coppery butterscotch colour, which I think is gorgeous. Actually, I have noticed quite a few tawny-eyed people around here, which says some interesting things about the gene pool. It seems that blue eyes are less common here than in Australia. What I love about eye colour, though, is how complex they tend to be. I actually have known mine to appear to change colour in different light... it's like there's a base layer of grey with a ring of yellow around the pupil, and then there's a second layer of blue-green which seems to change intensity. I also know a man with blue-grey eyes which have a ring of rust-red around the pupil. I also get a kick out of people who have a little freckle on the white of their eye. I'm not sure why, but I enjoy this sort of perceived imperfection, and tend to find it attractive. This is almost a source of embarrassment to me, as my best friend once lost a lover to a girl with an eye freckle. I remember all to well how she sobbed, "He loves that eye-freckled freak!" XD That's a while ago though, the same friend is happily married now.
Wow, I love how thoughtful everyone's responses are. No superficiality in these posts!
As for me, I don't necessarily have a type. However, the last handful of guys I've dated were of Middle Eastern descent..but I see it as simply a combination of fate & geography. Not a hard & fast rule. Who knows who I'll end up with next!
At the outset it seems I'm not attracted to anyone. Haha. At least, not initially. Which is helpful I suppose as it keeps me from overlooking glaring personality flaws for the sake of enjoying some eye candy. I really have to get to know someone first before I'm really into them. And while I'm not using a shopping list to find the right person, I've found each one is always better than the last My favourite trait in another person (partner or friend!) is their willingness to challenge me. They must have their own informed opinions and be willing to discuss different ideas with people who might disagree with them. I like people who mull things over for a while and really ruminate, it shows a certain depth (of character, of mind...) Apart from that my ideal partner is well-read, kind, slightly spiritual, open-minded (but with a healthy dose of critical thinking), hilarious, and really, really good in bed. The physical traits I guess I find most attractive in a man are big hands & a big, regal nose. Haha. I'm not sure why, but that's what I'm into...
Nice, Mila. I would agree with all of your likes, there, including the big, regal nose. XD Challenge and critical thinking is certainly a big plus. In my case, it's also a willingness to communicate freely - it really tends to help in the sack.