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    #31
    Rachel , if its any consolation , Ive been "lying" to my parents since I was in my mid teens, nearly 40 years.By" lying "I mean concealing certain facts, not just or even mainly sexual , or not revealing my opinions on matters which I know would cause a rift between us. I'm also 100% certain that , despite the very much more liberal atmosphere that exists in our home, my kids have tons of secrets.It is the nature of the beast that is family life.Again, on reflection,this discussion points out the paradox of AW as evidenced in the thread on guys using the images for masturbation.AW and its forums is where we can exchange thoughts, ideas , opinions and even advice but ( and it may be a big but for some models) all/most( unless I read the male of the species very wrong) of the postings are from guys, like me, who joined AW precisely to use it as a vehicle for masturbation.
    So all opinions expressed , by me anyway, should be read in that light that I am a guy who wanks over the models here.
    However, once again a paradox , but this time one that may unify the model/member experience,the majority of us wish/have to keep AW a secret from our families.
    I hope I havent offended anyone , either models or members, by my remarks I was trying to be honest.
    If I have offended or" creeped "anyone out I sincerely apologise

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      #32
      Heavens, Cat, I thought we all joined because we were interested in figurative photography. I'd never thought of ... well, good lord. How amazing - I might try that (as long as my parents don't find out)

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        #33
        Originally posted by rachel_t
        ...

        ah, i love my parents, but sometimes i think my life would be so much less stressful if they were a little more tolerant and understanding, and a little less prejudiced and snobby.
        I was surprised by how intolerant my parents were.

        After years of attending a Christian church I switched to a Zen Buddhist practice. My mother had not been to church for years. One day I stopped over at her house on my way to a Buddhist retreat. She asked where I was going and I told her.

        Boy! Was she ever upset with me and was I ever surprised that she even cared.

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          #34
          I'm very open with my modelling work. I've told everyone that I do it but not where to find it. I just can't help myself. I've got a big mouth and I'm painfully open and honest. I think my Mum is kinda used to me doing crazy things that she doesn't understand. I have very little contact with my family as they are all interstate but every now and again she does ask me "how is that nude thing that you do going?"

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            #35
            Reading all these posts about models telling their families makes me wonder if i should bring up the subject. But then i think my folks wouldnt really understand why, cause its not just the money that makes me want to say 'yes bring on another photo or video shoot', its the fun and excitement i get from being involved with the staff and other models. I think my folks would be disappointed in me, i am the token 'black sheep' in my family and have had many arguements about me wanting to be different from the normal expectations they have of me - especially when it comes to relationships - perhaps i do things to rebel and be noticed

            I know my sister wouldnt worry that much but my brother - well he can be a protective brother and i think he would be disappointed. So on second thoughts, i dont think i will tell them about AW. If they find out, then i will discuss it openly with them.

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              #36
              Well I have told my mum that I have done nude modeling and she is cool with it but she does not know that I do open legs and full on girl-girl.. But I would never tell my dad as he would most likely hit the roof and then He wouldnt be able to look at me the same again. Well on the weekend I nearly had a heartattack as my fiance's dad was talking to me bout google and seeing a pic of me on there but not saying what of and then he goes it was a pic of you modeling and I still dont know if he has seen me doing my nude modeling and now I cant look at him properly and I dont know what to do... My Family would kill me if they found out and well I dont want anyone friends, family to know and see me but I dont mind if I have told them...

              always Rosanna xoxoxo

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                #37
                but one other thing I forgot to say is I would never want my sisters or my own daughter/s to do anything like what I do as I rather them not... Dont know why just do...

                Rosanna

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                  #38
                  I could never tell my father (we get along incredibly well, and I know he'd get over it, but I'd rather save him the heartache), but as for my mother...she'd only be a little upset - but she'd spend years interrogating me about "how do you feel about it", "what influenced you to do it" etc. Remember, kiddies...a mum with a degree in Psychology isn't always a good thing! LOL.

                  As far as my kids are concerned, I believe I'll be somewhat of a hippy mother - while I'd never actively encourage the modelling, I want my kids to be completely at ease with discussing such things with me so that if they wanted to do it I could at least help them to find the safest environment possible and avoid any scams/danger. Same applies to their sexual orientation - both my fiance and I believe in educating our children as to what's out there, and letting them walk their own path after that (knowing that we're there to fall back on if things get rough).

                  Anyone would think I'm getting clucky or something

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                    #39
                    Originally posted by rosanna
                    Dont know why just do... Rosanna
                    I feel the same way with quite a few things in my life. I did them. They made me who I am at this moment and I'm glad for that. But I wouldn't recommend them for anyone else. That said, I'm definitely glad I did what I did or I wouldn't be who I am now.

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                      #40
                      Originally posted by ain7soph7aur7
                      I feel the same way with quite a few things in my life. I did them. They made me who I am at this moment and I'm glad for that. But I wouldn't recommend them for anyone else. That said, I'm definitely glad I did what I did or I wouldn't be who I am now.
                      Hey ain7soph7aur7,
                      Yes it is true I love doing it but just dont really want my kids to do it. But It has changed me alot and I am happy for it.

                      Rosanna xoxoxo

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                        #41
                        I haven't posted in this thread yet because as a member it's more fun to read and I don't think telling your parents is something that must be done in every circumstance. They did bring you into the world and took care of you, they probably tried to teach you to live by their values and chances are like most children you listened but did not follow all their rules. Since I'm not a parent I can't imagine how I would feel about it if a daughter of mine ever chose to do something like this. I sort of feel my choice to look at porn means if I ever have a daughter, she will probably one day pose naked for someone. Hopefully, it will be a site like this one
                        Originally posted by Margaret
                        ... I think perhaps as you get older and become more independent of your family then there are things that you dont feel necessary to tell them. I still speak with my folks about 1 or 2 times a week but i certainly dont tell them that i had sex last night or i masturbated on the weekend with another girl, or that i have had sex with 3 girls. Not the best conversations, for me at least.
                        This comment stood out to me. There were plenty of things i didn't feel i needed to talk about with my parents and my sex life was definitely one of them. Because I had sex ed in school, they never had to sit down and give me the sex talk, and I think they guessed that because I never went on a date in high school, I wasn't having sex There were plenty of things that i did lie to them about and I'm not proud of that but I didn't get into too much trouble because of the things I was doing behind their back.

                        As time went on and I grew more mature and independent, I started feeling more comfortable talking to them about personal things like sex, my Mom more so than my Dad. All parents are different, but I'm glad my parents are the kind that won't judge me too harshly when I tell them about some of the things I've done. After a while, your parents get over thinking of you as their children and start treating you like adults. When that happens, you can finally start having some really good conversations with them

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                          #42
                          Originally posted by rosanna
                          But It has changed me alot and I am happy for it.
                          I'm glad you're happy Rosanna.

                          Its the same with the things I've done. I wouldn't want any children I might have doing those things (or anyone else really) but I got something out of my life by doing it that I otherwise might not have. Its the risk-payoff thing. Sometimes we take the high risk/high payoff road and things in the long run work out well for us, but having walked that road you see that things might have turned out in other not-so-good ways and you don't want that danger/risk for people you love (or people in general in my case).

                          On the general topic of confessions, I don't think you always have to tell your loved ones everything. Sometimes they need to know, sometimes you need to tell them- but with many things it simply doesn't help anybody, just causes a lot of unnecessary damage.

                          Best regards and wishes.

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                            #43
                            Hi, everybody ... I haven't posted here for years!!

                            I just wanted to say that it's a good manners thing .. sexual matters are sort-of private between the generations. I would be embarrassed if my dad or mum started talking too openly about them; or if my daughters did. And I think it would make my childen uncomfortable if I started talking about my sexuality. They are entitled to some secrets from me, and I'm entitled to some secrets from them.

                            I hope I'd be like MaryJane's mum, if I found out that my daughters were modelling. I wouldn't object or encourage - I'd smile, and out of politeness, not talk about it. Unless, of course, they wanted to talk about it, but can anybody imagine THAT???

                            And ... it's hard, but you have to give your children the freedom to experiment and explore and make mistakes. They wouldn't listen if I tried to give them the benefit of my experience! I know, I've tried. I've never been one for telling kids 'just say no'. Apart from anything else, who's children ever had any trouble saying 'no'??

                            So models.. I am delighted that you and I have a chance to explore some of our sexuality in decent privacy. I won't tell your parents if you don't tell my kids.. ok?

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                              #44
                              I'm thinking, on this topic, first of all I would be the type of parent who would let my kids run around the house naked whenever they wanted, which I believe leads to better acceptance of their own bodies and less influence by the evils of Cosmo and other such publications. And if I had a daughter who wanted to pose, I would like to think that she would, first of all, be comfortable talking with me about it first, and that I would steer her towards a site like AW that respects women and isn't trying to turn them out to the hardcore porn world. I wouldn't look at the pictures, but I would stand behind her.

                              Of course, this is all speculation. I'm only 28, have no wife, no kids, no girlfriend, and don't really want kids in the future.

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                                #45
                                i haven't told my parents yet. my main concern's are, my mum would think i was a dirty little girl and think that it was totally sleazy. and i think my dad would be sad that i didn't ask him for money or that i might be putting myself in danger.

                                everytime i think about telling them some drama comes up that makes me decide to hold off.

                                i'm not ashamed of what i've done or who i am. and just because i've done nude modelling that doesn't mean anything about my morals or ideals or anything as a person.

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                                  #46
                                  Originally posted by rachel_t
                                  and how would our members feel about their child doing something like this? would you be supportive, or would you be horrified/disappointed? would it upset you that hundreds of men were masturbating to videos of your daughter, or would you accept and embrace her choices and be okay with it?
                                  I would like to think that I would be supportive and accept her choice. I don't consider nude modelling something dirty and shameful and I wouldn't have a reason to be upset. I also couldn't care less if some prude I knew were to have a problem with my daughter doing something like this.

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                                    #47
                                    i was actually thinking to myself whether or not i should tell my mum about the shoots that i have done for abbey winters. my mum is pretty cool and and i think after a while she would be fine with it , but i think the initial shock might take her a little while to get over. i guess the thing that matters is whether you are happy with yourself for doing it. i know that in ten or so years down the track ill be able to look back and say, damn i looked alright. and be proud of what i did.

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                                      #48
                                      Originally posted by brooke_l
                                      i was actually thinking to myself whether or not i should tell my mum about the shoots that i have done for abbey winters. my mum is pretty cool and and i think after a while she would be fine with it , but i think the initial shock might take her a little while to get over.....
                                      Hi Brooke;
                                      As a parent of three adult children, I recommend telling them unless the world would end if you did.
                                      Most parents woud rather hear the truth than have their children lie. (But there are a lot of other variables here too.) Tell your mother, fathers tend to go off the deap end about their daughters. A mother is a good resource in dealing with an upset father.

                                      But you know your parents best. There are times when it is best to keep the secret. For me, after 40 years, I continue to be disappointed in my oldest son who still lies about his on going drug abuse and trafficing.

                                      Geo

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                                        #49
                                        Originally posted by rachel_t
                                        since it seemed to be becoming a hot topic in one of the other threads, i thought i'd start a fresh one about doing this kind of work and telling your parents about it. i'm interested to know how many models out there have told their parents, and what kind of reactions they've received. also, how many models have not told their parents, and what are your main concerns about them finding out?

                                        and how would our members feel about their child doing something like this? would you be supportive, or would you be horrified/disappointed? would it upset you that hundreds of men were masturbating to videos of your daughter, or would you accept and embrace her choices and be okay with it?
                                        Every once in a while we must go back and read the original post. If a daughter of mine was to post for anyone elseI would have a problem. If she was working at AW I would not like it,but I think I would respect her choice. As for the second part. Anyone man or woman gets in front of the camera to perform. Naked or not Fingers between their legs or not. In a Shakespear play or not, a performer can not be worried about what people are or are not doing to their performance. If so the performance will suffer.

                                        My question is why would you care. You are a performer trying to entertain. Same with a stripper. They all tell me that they don't worry about the audience at all. I have had the good ones tell me that they focused in on one something. At the strip bar I worked at years ago, it was me, Not because I am hansome, but, because they knew I was not going to hurt them and I appriciated their work. Frankly to most guys Breats are breast and unless a model wears her breast on her face, most guys would not recognise them anyway.

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                                          #50
                                          Hello everyone...I was watching an old episode of Tyra (Tyra Banks has a TV show in the US) where a married woman ran her own adult site. Her husband was supportive until she gave birth to a son... Tyra and the psychologist pointed out that the woman's son would find out and the family would have to have therapy. It's a really complex issue and I was wondering if you all have possibly thought about this. here's a link to her website with a brief description of that episode:
                                          http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/show_...cap_fri48.html
                                          Dream

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                                            #51
                                            Off topic but i didnt tell my folks about a job offer i recently received But turned down, my sister ended up telling them and i got a blasting phone call from my folks telling me off for not telling them about it. What?!!!??!!

                                            Hey i'm 25 and i've been making decisions for a long time now so why would i need to tell them about job offers, that have absolutely no effect on them at all, gosh, they dont even live in the same state as me..... blah blah... i was annoyed by this.

                                            It goes to show that even when you are an 'adult' sometimes your folks just give you advice or try to tell you whats good or bad for you (of course with the best intentions but geez back off alittle)......

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                                              #52
                                              I'm new here and just browsing, so I feel rather odd just coming out and talkin', anyway...

                                              When I do have a child I hope it's a boy first of all that loves the ladies n all :P. But, if it's a girl, then I would be ....sorta 'OK', maybe(?), if it was classy like this. But I'd never ever want to hear about it, see it, and I'd probably hunt down and kill anyone that I knew that saw it (coworkers etc) or make them promise to never say anything, and if I ever saw it I'd probably die on the spot. So yeah, so much for hypocrisy, eh?

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                                                #53
                                                Originally posted by blue_eyed_devil
                                                I'm new here and just browsing, so I feel rather odd just coming out and talkin', anyway...

                                                When I do have a child I hope it's a boy first of all that loves the ladies n all :P. But, if it's a girl, then I would be ....sorta 'OK', maybe(?), if it was classy like this. But I'd never ever want to hear about it, see it, and I'd probably hunt down and kill anyone that I knew that saw it (coworkers etc) or make them promise to never say anything, and if I ever saw it I'd probably die on the spot. So yeah, so much for hypocrisy, eh?
                                                This is fascinating. If I had a daughter (or son for that matter) who got into this kind of work I'd be cheering. Because, lets face it, no child of mind would be uninformed about this sort of thing. They would be doing it from an educated and confident point of view. I mean, if they were doing it just for the money or something they should know that all they have to do is ask me and I'd help them out. But I also perceive it to be a legit way to make a buck so it's really up tp them. I'd be pretty cut up if he/she didn't tell me about it though. I don't think I'd mind what they get up to so long as they understand it. However, to all the parents out there, ask me again when I have a kid. Perhaps I'm missing something? I always told my mum about all the dreadful things I got (\get) up to and whilst it must have been nerve racking for her on occaision it was helpful to me and reassuring to her that at least we could communicate about it.

                                                A very stimulating discussion people.

                                                thanks,

                                                p

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                                                  #54
                                                  Originally posted by Penelope
                                                  This is fascinating. If I had a daughter (or son for that matter) who got into this kind of work I'd be cheering. Because, lets face it, no child of mind would be uninformed about this sort of thing. They would be doing it from an educated and confident point of view. I mean, if they were doing it just for the money or something they should know that all they have to do is ask me and I'd help them out. But I also perceive it to be a legit way to make a buck so it's really up tp them. I'd be pretty cut up if he/she didn't tell me about it though. I don't think I'd mind what they get up to so long as they understand it. However, to all the parents out there, ask me again when I have a kid. Perhaps I'm missing something? I always told my mum about all the dreadful things I got (\get) up to and whilst it must have been nerve racking for her on occaision it was helpful to me and reassuring to her that at least we could communicate about it.
                                                  I mostly agree with you, but places like AW dont really exist here in the US, and the really hardcore stuff scares the shit out of me, that's what im worried about. I dont consider AW a porn site, more of like an erotica community I guess. I guess it's the whole protective thing again as mentioned so many times above, I'd hate some weirdo to find her/stalk her and such. The world is really scary, people are unpredictable.

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                                                    #55
                                                    Originally posted by Margaret :
                                                    Hey i'm 25 and i've been making decisions for a long time now so why would i need to tell them about job offers, that have absolutely no effect on them at all
                                                    Hey, Margaret. Stop and think for a while... My son is 29 (don't ask how old I am !) and I would still expect him to keep me informed about his career - job offers, promotions, developments etc., etc. I'm proud of him (as I'm sure your folk are proud of you) and whilst I am delighted that he stands on his own two feet and makes his own way in the world, I need to know how he's doing..that's all....

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                                                      #56
                                                      I could never, ever tell my mum....when i worked at AW, I gave her an incredibly vague job description, and left it at that. I only told them there was nudity involved, because she wanted to look up thye company! We made a deal a looong time ago that if I was ever going to do something she wouldnt like, I would never tell her! I told both my sisters, however, and was really suprised by their reactions. My more 'mild' (readrudish) sis was completely supportive, whilst the sister I thought would understand was so rude and insulting about the whole thing, we've never discussed it again!
                                                      If I had kids, and they did this, I'd probably be just like my mum...I dont need to know everything they do!

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                                                        #57
                                                        Originally posted by Millie
                                                        I could never, ever tell my mum....when i worked at AW, I gave her an incredibly vague job description, and left it at that. I only told them there was nudity involved, because she wanted to look up thye company! We made a deal a looong time ago that if I was ever going to do something she wouldnt like, I would never tell her! I told both my sisters, however, and was really suprised by their reactions. My more 'mild' (readrudish) sis was completely supportive, whilst the sister I thought would understand was so rude and insulting about the whole thing, we've never discussed it again!
                                                        If I had kids, and they did this, I'd probably be just like my mum...I dont need to know everything they do!
                                                        Similar deal here. My parents, siblings, relatives, and friends back in Perth are all left in the dark over the nature of what we do. I've gone as far as telling them that Abby's company does photography and video production, but just left it at that. My parents, when I told them I got the position and was moving to Melbourne, asked me "what sort of photography do they do", and I had to blur the details by saying they did general photgraphy/filming for clients. I also couldn't tell them how I came to know Abby or her staff, so I had to make up a story about meeting some of them once within a circle of acquaintences a couple of years back, and I had been conversing with them online since. They took that in pretty well.

                                                        My parents actually know the name of Abby's company (the discreet-sounding business name that they trade under, not the site name, of course), and its office location, but as they're 3,500km away, I need not worry about them dropping by.

                                                        I'm generally not good at lying (ladies, take note! ); usually if I can't reveal something, I rely on selective omission, to the point where the details I give them are still true, but the way I introduce them alleviates any suspicion and doesn't imply anything that I want to keep secret.

                                                        My mother, being one of the old-fashioned feminist types, would probably not be able to cope if she found out that I work for this site. If she discovered the truth, I'd tell her that I firmly believe I'm supporting a project that is in no way exploitative or degrading of women, and until she accepts the reality, I'd be prepared to cut contact with her if I had to. My father wouldn't have any major issues dealing with it, but he'd probably be disappointed at having to keep the fact secret from my mother. My brother and sister would be more accepting, though, as they have a similar belief system to that of mine (generally religion-agnostic/atheist).

                                                        I think the best approach is to keep it under wraps for the time being, but I'll make it clear to my parents that I'm very happy with the working conditions here (which I genuinely am). Then, later on down the track, if they do discover the nature of Abby's company, they'll realise that it's not really as bad as they perceive, simply because none of the issues that they'd suspect I face, if I worked for a mainstream porn producer, have ever surfaced.

                                                        I agree with Millie that I think there are some things that should just be kept to ourselves. I've learnt that through the experience of having over-caring, over-protective parents. Hypothetically, if I ever had kids, and one of them were to work/model for a site like AW.com, I'd be happy with their decision, as long as they fully understood the risks involved (eg. some people might look down on them if they told others what they do).

                                                        Comment


                                                          #58
                                                          Originally posted by dacooper
                                                          Originally posted by Margaret :

                                                          Hey, Margaret. Stop and think for a while... My son is 29 (don't ask how old I am !) and I would still expect him to keep me informed about his career - job offers, promotions, developments etc., etc. I'm proud of him (as I'm sure your folk are proud of you) and whilst I am delighted that he stands on his own two feet and makes his own way in the world, I need to know how he's doing..that's all....
                                                          It wasnt intentional that i didnt tell them about it, it was because i couldnt work out what i really wanted and didnt need interference from them. They mean the best intentions but really do put unnecessary pressure on me. If i had taken the job at first thought then sure i would have rang them straight away but i needed time to sort it out first. But i didnt think dad had the right to ring me and swear at me for not taking the position in the first place - that was really uncalled for.

                                                          Plus its my life - they are living theirs travelling over 4000km away from their kids when we tell them we need them they say tough - work it out yourself. So why should i feel like i need to tell them what i do.

                                                          I didnt tell them when i've had a big night and had a one night stand or masturbate til my hand and fingers were so numb - no need for them to know everything i do. And this work is certainly got nothing to do with them, dont mean to sound rude but it has nothing to do with anyone except myself and AW. The decision was all mine to make the phone call and meet AW and get some photos taken. I did this work for me and no-one else.

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                                                            #59
                                                            Plus i dont lie to them i just dont tell them anything. I've lived on my own long enough - they dont need to know how i pay my bills just as long as i pay them!

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                                                              #60
                                                              Originally posted by Jemma
                                                              I'm very open with my modelling work. I've told everyone that I do it but not where to find it. I just can't help myself. I've got a big mouth and I'm painfully open and honest. I think my Mum is kinda used to me doing crazy things that she doesn't understand. I have very little contact with my family as they are all interstate but every now and again she does ask me "how is that nude thing that you do going?"

                                                              Hi Lady

                                                              I am happy for you!!!

                                                              Koesta, the carrot

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