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    #31
    Timbo .. Yeah I definitely know what you mean. It's so true. When you see yourself from an outside point of view, no matter what you see, anger, insecurity, everything becomes clearer and your perception and perspective can become easier to understand. This also works with the world in general, step off the map in your mind as if you're not a member of the planet, and you can easily see how problems can be solved.

    I get those triggers. When you put pressure on yourself to be early, then you get frustrated because others have the audacity to be late, but when you realize, that you have the same right to have that audacity if you want, you're less frightened of that other person's power, thus you no longer feel hatred and anger towards them for having freedom you don't lol, because you DO!

    My triggers are when people question me without reason, invade my space, patronize me...basically any form of unfair treatment, because for years I took all that bad treatment without standing up for myself, defending my space, and even convinced myself they were right... So once I found my freedom, I fight with all me strength to never lose it again and never let someone get on top of me again, but I guess I can relax now because I know I'm not in that environment anymore, don't depend upon anyone for my basic living needs to keep my alive, or to survive, and because I look after myself, I can trust others because my freedom, and life is not in THEIR hands to play with... this is something that can cause trauma from early so i guess even though i know I'm an adult tho, I still feel like a terrified child inside... and of course anger, is always covering up either fear or sadness. It's psychological fact I believe, even my acting teacher knew that and used it to teach us about emotions.

    Therapy sounds SOOOO good. I'm more and more excited about clearing some issues the more you've told me about how it works and what happens DDDD

    Comment


      #32
      Originally posted by Frans View Post
      and that is why discussing religion was forbidden on the forum a looong time ago Mentioning it is fine with me, but discussion or value-judgements don't get you anywhere (good).

      Having established that, I'm always happy to read people sorting out their problems/issue somehow. Or at least figure out how to live with it, that's a good start after all

      Oh yeah, if you go to any stress/anger management therapy, keep in mind that during those session you're NOT supposed to be on your best behavior. 'cos that makes sessions like that rather ineffective. For some reason that took me a while to get
      Reiki is not religion lol at all. It's truth... I don't believe in Religions , but let's not get into that.

      WHOOOOHOOOO!!! I get to be myself in anger therapy? F*** being on my best behavior... I do that every day of my life so people don't get freaked out ¬___¬

      Anger management...Here I come

      Wonder why it took you a while to get that?... Is it uncomfortable to be in a space where people allow you to express yourself in this world?...oh wait... of course it is.

      Comment


        #33
        Getting into this thread now may be too late. But this may be more in line with Arianna was after in the original post...

        I've had a couple of just a little weird periods in my sex life. In these periods I was not interested in vaginal intercourse. Yet, I was still attracted to the ladies, and I wanted to give and to get oral. This happened to me twice in the middle of my dating years, before I met my wife. Now much later, with my wife of 20years, this has happened several times as well.
        So, this is my problem, and we have talked about it. My wife is a big fan of penetrative sex! I mean her sex playbook reads: a little cuddling, caressing, serious foreplay for a few minutes, and fucking (the main event), then lots of cuddling and loads of talking!

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          #34
          I'm sorry Arianna if I've touched a nerve. Believe me (or not) when I say that. I apologize to you, and I'll do so as long as you wish. It's just that I think that most people, when they first hear about Reiki and what it is, wouldn't believe it, at least not at first. It is like saying you believe in real magic. It's a natural first impression until someone is shown it can work. So answer me just one question. Why would your hands work to heal someone and not anyone's hands? If a friend was ill or had some soreness on their body, why couldn't they just have a friend use their hands to help them instead of going to a Reiki practitioner? What makes the Reiki Practitioner's hands work and not mine, or anyone else's? Are there soothing words you say that make your hands work? What makes your hands so special? I honestly want to know. I really, really do. Please enlighten me. Again, I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'd like to be shown that this works and have it explained to me. And I really think that Reiki practitioners should have some kind of money-back guarantee if it doesn't work, as well as hypnotherapists because patients who are recommended to seek out these treatments don't know if it will work on them and it could set them back a good deal of money.
          Last edited by laktor; 31 August 2012, 04:04 PM.

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            #35
            laktor, laktor.. your first two lines were fine and then you go back to repeating what you said before only a bit different Please make a new thread for your Reiki questions, that way they won't derail this thread.

            Originally posted by ariannaAW View Post
            Reiki is not religion lol at all. It's truth... I don't believe in Religions , but let's not get into that.
            Let's not

            Originally posted by ariannaAW View Post
            WHOOOOHOOOO!!! I get to be myself in anger therapy? F*** being on my best behavior... I do that every day of my life so people don't get freaked out ¬___¬
            Wonder why it took you a while to get that?... Is it uncomfortable to be in a space where people allow you to express yourself in this world?
            Not so much uncomfortable, you just have to "un-adjust" after keeping up a nicely adjusted image to the outside world. The outside world generally prefers that image btw (making it a double challenge) Keeping up appearances can be hard work, though to some degree you always have to ;-) I mostly smile (and ignore) about things I don't agree with now, much less energy needed.

            Comment


              #36
              Originally posted by Frans View Post
              laktor, laktor.. your first two lines were fine and then you go back to repeating what you said before only a bit different Please make a new thread for your Reiki questions, that way they won't derail this thread.
              No worries, Frans. No more Reiki questions so no need to start another thread. Lots of info on the web and there seems to be a debate by different communities whether this practice is beneficial and/or actually works. I'll go elsewhere for info, so Arianna, don't bother answering my question.

              Comment


                #37
                Arianna...you should seriously consider a career in Counseling. Your background has provided you with all the necessary tools to help those with asimilar background...you " Walk the Talk "..i salute you Girl !

                Comment


                  #38
                  Ok here goes you would like to here a dark secret well i can talk about it now but i let things get me down for a while after i lost my job in 2009 due to a work accident and not really knowing found myself falling into a depressive state shutting myself off from family and friends till i hit rock bottom and tried to take my life mid 2010 with 4 police officers pointing guns at me my only saviours. After some months of help and treatment i found myself back on track doing volunteer work as well as study courses with the hope of getting some community paid work. This has not happened as yet but im still completing a uni course and doing my volunteer work and much happier than i was.

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Originally posted by bookmanz View Post
                    Getting into this thread now may be too late. But this may be more in line with Arianna was after in the original post...

                    I've had a couple of just a little weird periods in my sex life. In these periods I was not interested in vaginal intercourse. Yet, I was still attracted to the ladies, and I wanted to give and to get oral. This happened to me twice in the middle of my dating years, before I met my wife. Now much later, with my wife of 20years, this has happened several times as well.
                    So, this is my problem, and we have talked about it. My wife is a big fan of penetrative sex! I mean her sex playbook reads: a little cuddling, caressing, serious foreplay for a few minutes, and fucking (the main event), then lots of cuddling and loads of talking!
                    That's interesting, I've never really been into anal sex, but i think it's pretty obvious why that may be. I'm interested to know what about vaginal sex you were put off by? and if you weren't put off but just not interested, that's quite interesting in itself...

                    Comment


                      #40
                      Originally posted by tjsunray View Post
                      Arianna...you should seriously consider a career in Counseling. Your background has provided you with all the necessary tools to help those with asimilar background...you " Walk the Talk "..i salute you Girl !
                      Haha , I've been told that by many people, including my own therapists, when I began psycho-analyzing them during my sessions Lol, I can't help it, people have to remind me that I'm doing that in regular conversations, lol I've learned to lay back though... I just love figuring out psychological patterns and helping people find the core of an issue so they can resolve it. When I'm in any conversation and people begin speaking of an issue they are facing, my natural reaction is to find the core... and then it turns into a psychological convo about their childhood , which I understand now most people can't handle...the thing is, if I don't do that, then I have to just pretend I don't know what the issue is and how to resolve it, even tho I do because I've been thru it or seen others go thru it, so now I just nod and smile, give light advice but don't go deep into it, even tho it used to kill me that I know I could give them real advice, most people don't want it, they either want to continue with their issue or resolve it in their own time, the first option is pretty sad but many people do continue their issues because they're afraid to fix them for fear of not knowing what to do with the new territory.

                      Anyway side track, thanks for that TJ... you're clearly very observant.

                      *Salutes back*

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Originally posted by cheese View Post
                        Ok here goes you would like to here a dark secret well i can talk about it now but i let things get me down for a while after i lost my job in 2009 due to a work accident and not really knowing found myself falling into a depressive state shutting myself off from family and friends till i hit rock bottom and tried to take my life mid 2010 with 4 police officers pointing guns at me my only saviours. After some months of help and treatment i found myself back on track doing volunteer work as well as study courses with the hope of getting some community paid work. This has not happened as yet but im still completing a uni course and doing my volunteer work and much happier than i was.
                        I'm always pretty shocked when people go into depression after losing a job... because I figure why not just get another job? I understand that some people were working very well paid jobs and ones that aren't as easy as working in a coffee shop to substitute/replace... But for someone who's got loads of qualifications and was able to get one of those really good jobs, it shouldn't be that hard to get another job the same?? or even a simple job working somewhere like a coffee shop lol, at least bringing in money, paying bills etc? Unless you've gotten used to a more luxurious lifestyle and the strain of not being able to maintain that may be adding to the stress? I just don't get it, I would not enjoy working in a job where I feel under pressure to keep it no matter what just because I want to maintain a lifestyle and feel I wouldn't be able to get a different job if things weren't working out anymore in that job....

                        Anyway that's all my own curiosity about a lifestyle I've never had.... I've never worked a regular/steady well paid job so I don't understand why there's so much pain losing one, it sounds like some time out to take a break to me, but I'm guessing the accident had a contribution to the emotional stress too?? or was it really the job?

                        It's the first time I've had the chance to ask someone about this topic... lol hope you don't mind.

                        As for the other part, I don't get why they were pointing guns at you? Was it like '' If you try to take your own life then we'll help by shooting you more'' ??? How's that make sense... what was going on exactly?

                        Again, hope you don't mind... I'm just very very interested to learn.

                        But you know that I've been there too, the whole trying to end it thing. So , appreciate your sharing! Thankss.

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Originally posted by ariannaAW View Post
                          I'm always pretty shocked when people go into depression after losing a job... because I figure why not just get another job? I understand that some people were working very well paid jobs and ones that aren't as easy as working in a coffee shop to substitute/replace... But for someone who's got loads of qualifications and was able to get one of those really good jobs, it shouldn't be that hard to get another job the same?? or even a simple job working somewhere like a coffee shop lol, at least bringing in money, paying bills etc? Unless you've gotten used to a more luxurious lifestyle and the strain of not being able to maintain that may be adding to the stress? I just don't get it, I would not enjoy working in a job where I feel under pressure to keep it no matter what just because I want to maintain a lifestyle and feel I wouldn't be able to get a different job if things weren't working out anymore in that job....

                          Anyway that's all my own curiosity about a lifestyle I've never had.... I've never worked a regular/steady well paid job so I don't understand why there's so much pain losing one, it sounds like some time out to take a break to me, but I'm guessing the accident had a contribution to the emotional stress too?? or was it really the job?

                          It's the first time I've had the chance to ask someone about this topic... lol hope you don't mind.

                          As for the other part, I don't get why they were pointing guns at you? Was it like '' If you try to take your own life then we'll help by shooting you more'' ??? How's that make sense... what was going on exactly?

                          Again, hope you don't mind... I'm just very very interested to learn.

                          But you know that I've been there too, the whole trying to end it thing. So , appreciate your sharing! Thanks.
                          ariannaAW, you are still young, so you don't understand what it means to lose a job at an older age. If you started out at the bottom and worked your way up the ladder, then you lost your job, it's impossible for you to go back and start at the bottom again because you are too old and there are too many younger people who want that job.

                          If you started out at the bottom, then you were making a lower salary. As you worked your way up the ladder, your salary increased....maybe you bought a home, a nice car, whatever. The thing is, this is the natural progression of moving up the ladder. This doesn't mean that you lead a lavish lifestyle, it just means that you strived to own a house, a car and put some money away. Suddenly you lose your job....you have a mortgage to pay, car payments, a family to support, etc. You can't just go out and get a low paying job and expect to survive. If you did, you'd lose your house, car, and it would be difficult for you to provide for your family.

                          Look at it like this....if you were married, had two kids, and your husband was making $70,000 a year, you might have a nice little house, a nice inexpensive car (maybe a Chevy or a Ford), and you were able to put food on the table if you shopped wisely.

                          One day, your husband loses his job. He looks for work and can only find jobs that pay $25,000 a year. He can take one of those jobs, but that's a $45,000 a year drop. If you were just getting by on $70,000 a year, how do you think you'd get by on $25,000 a year?

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                            #43
                            Sort of a secret,i've a fetish for girl's feet and buttholes. if a model shows her butthole,i instantly favorite her.

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Originally posted by Dekoda View Post
                              ariannaAW, you are still young, so you don't understand what it means to lose a job at an older age. If you started out at the bottom and worked your way up the ladder, then you lost your job, it's impossible for you to go back and start at the bottom again because you are too old and there are too many younger people who want that job.

                              If you started out at the bottom, then you were making a lower salary. As you worked your way up the ladder, your salary increased....maybe you bought a home, a nice car, whatever. The thing is, this is the natural progression of moving up the ladder. This doesn't mean that you lead a lavish lifestyle, it just means that you strived to own a house, a car and put some money away. Suddenly you lose your job....you have a mortgage to pay, car payments, a family to support, etc. You can't just go out and get a low paying job and expect to survive. If you did, you'd lose your house, car, and it would be difficult for you to provide for your family.

                              Look at it like this....if you were married, had two kids, and your husband was making $70,000 a year, you might have a nice little house, a nice inexpensive car (maybe a Chevy or a Ford), and you were able to put food on the table if you shopped wisely.

                              One day, your husband loses his job. He looks for work and can only find jobs that pay $25,000 a year. He can take one of those jobs, but that's a $45,000 a year drop. If you were just getting by on $70,000 a year, how do you think you'd get by on $25,000 a year?
                              If you read my reply again, you'll see that... That is exactly what I guessed may be the issue. Maintaining the lifestyle you've developed. I understand. But I also said, I couldn't stand the idea of that pressure. I hope I never get into that, I mean... I admire you guys who hold down jobs like that. But I think with modeling, acting etc, There'll always be work... But the thing is I've been thru a lot already so i doubt at later stages in life it'll happen, because it either happens when your young, and you become more resilient, or it happens when your older, and it's probably harder to deal with , but at some point in life, many of us feel as though we've ''lost'' everything and have to rebuild. For me, it happened at 16. for others maybe during a midlife crisis... or something.

                              The only thing I don't get now is... well if you've spent all those years climbing up the ladder, with ALL those years of experience, and establishing yourself in a company, shouldn't other companies who need someone with EXPERIENCE be eager to take you on? Especially if you've brought good things to the former employers organization? I would think so... there's credibility in all that effort you've put in and what you've achieved...

                              By the way that was a bad example since I'll never have a husband, and even if I did, I'd be making my own money not living off his lol

                              Comment


                                #45
                                Originally posted by renfield420 View Post
                                Sort of a secret,i've a fetish for girl's feet and buttholes. if a model shows her butthole,i instantly favorite her.
                                You may be buzzing to hear that in the next shoot that'll be posted up of me in the shower....My butthole was close up in the camera for most of the shot.

                                I felt so disrespectful showing the camera MY ASS for so much of the time, and I remember thinking while I was raping myself, ''why would anyone want to see this,,, see me in this position.... staring right into my anus?'' ... But I guess... I have found the answer to my question... FETISHESSS !!!

                                Well done !!! thanks for sharing and thanks for being YOU!

                                Comment


                                  #46
                                  Originally posted by ariannaAW View Post
                                  You may be buzzing to hear that in the next shoot that'll be posted up of me in the shower....My butthole was close up in the camera for most of the shot.

                                  I felt so disrespectful showing the camera MY ASS for so much of the time, and I remember thinking while I was raping myself, ''why would anyone want to see this,,, see me in this position.... staring right into my anus?'' ... But I guess... I have found the answer to my question... FETISHESSS !!!

                                  Well done !!! thanks for sharing and thanks for being YOU!
                                  A Big thanks to you Beautiful. i guess the reason i fell in love with girl's anus is cause i love anal sex and when i go down under on a girl,her butthole is also amazing to look at. i'll be favoriting your shoot.

                                  Comment


                                    #47
                                    Originally posted by renfield420 View Post
                                    A Big thanks to you Beautiful. i guess the reason i fell in love with girl's anus is cause i love anal sex and when i go down under on a girl,her butthole is also amazing to look at. i'll be favoriting your shoot.
                                    Hehehe, I can't wait to see it myself. Don't know why people call it vanity, I think it's great for people to love watching and listening to themselves, but I definitely Do

                                    Comment


                                      #48
                                      Originally posted by ariannaAW View Post
                                      Hehehe, I can't wait to see it myself. Don't know why people call it vanity, I think it's great for people to love watching and listening to themselves, but I definitely Do
                                      People who call it vanity,don't have the beauty you do and they envy that. Enjoy yourself as much as possible.

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                                        #49
                                        Omg , how do you guys become so amazing? You guys must have something good going on for ya, cus it takes confident and awesome people to recognize and celebrate other confident and awesome people

                                        Comment


                                          #50
                                          Originally posted by ariannaAW View Post
                                          Omg , how do you guys become so amazing? You guys must have something good going on for ya, cus it takes confident and awesome people to recognize and celebrate other confident and awesome people
                                          well for me,i've grown up mostly with women and most of my friends are female,about 75 per cent. One of my passions is girls and since i'm around girls a lot,i understand and learn from them.

                                          Comment


                                            #51
                                            Originally posted by ariannaAW View Post

                                            The only thing I don't get now is... well if you've spent all those years climbing up the ladder, with ALL those years of experience, and establishing yourself in a company, shouldn't other companies who need someone with EXPERIENCE be eager to take you on? Especially if you've brought good things to the former employers organization? I would think so... there's credibility in all that effort you've put in and what you've achieved...
                                            It doesn't work that way. Sure, you're older and have experience, but you also expect a higher salary. Today, companies would rather hire a college graduate who is willing to work for a lot less money than an older experienced worker who wants more money. The company that I worked for would rather hire three college graduates and pay them less money than they were paying an experienced worker who worked for them for 20 years. They figured that with three inexperienced guys, together, they could figure out how to get it right. Experience doesn't matter in today's economy.

                                            Comment


                                              #52
                                              Originally posted by Dekoda View Post
                                              It doesn't work that way. Sure, you're older and have experience, but you also expect a higher salary. Today, companies would rather hire a college graduate who is willing to work for a lot less money than an older experienced worker who wants more money. The company that I worked for would rather hire three college graduates and pay them less money than they were paying an experienced worker who worked for them for 20 years. They figured that with three inexperienced guys, together, they could figure out how to get it right. Experience doesn't matter in today's economy.
                                              So , what does matter? Because I'm sure at some point I learned qualifications don't matter, it's all about experience, because they wana know you've done the job and can do it properly, not that you've learned theoretically how to do it?

                                              Aww, life is so confusing. *faints*

                                              Comment


                                                #53
                                                Originally posted by renfield420 View Post
                                                well for me,i've grown up mostly with women and most of my friends are female,about 75 per cent. One of my passions is girls and since i'm around girls a lot,i understand and learn from them.
                                                Funny, I grew up with men/boys. Although I feel like growing up with women could have confused a man more, because most women are very confused about themselves and their emotions, so for a man to grow up around them... may be more confusing for him then if he used his own innate logic. I mean, all those hormones and emotions running around with females... I think part of the reason I'm more about intellect than emotion is because I grew up with men. I cud work on my intuition and emotional understanding though, that's for sure... I don't know how to get along with women... I really don't!

                                                Comment


                                                  #54
                                                  Been thinking for a good hour of a dark secret but can't really come up with much as I am an open person and use a lot of my life to aid others around me in struggles and other things with their lives.

                                                  Only thing that popped up is how badly I seek a female I am compatible with. All the ladies I have met have been way different then me, looking for something other then me. I am a super nice guy, skinny and such which doesn't mean anything, But It's killing me why it's so hard for me to find a sweet girl. I do live on a small Island with a load of crazy people. Location may be the reason, but I don't know. I don't have friends my age, most are 15+ years older then me.

                                                  Comment


                                                    #55
                                                    Originally posted by Forbid View Post
                                                    Been thinking for a good hour of a dark secret but can't really come up with much as I am an open person and use a lot of my life to aid others around me in struggles and other things with their lives.

                                                    Only thing that popped up is how badly I seek a female I am compatible with. All the ladies I have met have been way different then me, looking for something other then me. I am a super nice guy, skinny and such which doesn't mean anything, But It's killing me why it's so hard for me to find a sweet girl. I do live on a small Island with a load of crazy people. Location may be the reason, but I don't know. I don't have friends my age, most are 15+ years older then me.
                                                    I have the same issue with women. I believed it's because I live in a crazy city. London, in the states, I cud find someone more easily, although I grew up in NYC, same...everybody's crazy. I always thought if I moved to an Island, it'll be more likely I'll meet someone nice.. What Island do you live on?

                                                    Although saying that, I've come across a few women recently who inspire me...I'm just too afraid of being turned down by them, and then having to see them everyday so I try to maintain a friendship instead. lol,

                                                    I think for people like us, way beyond our years and generation... It will be hard. We're unique and rare, so it won't be as easy for us to find an equal match... They'd be just an unique as us. Not every girl down the block will appeal to us, and they won't even understand us.

                                                    Comment


                                                      #56
                                                      I live in Outer Banks island chain

                                                      Comment

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