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    Homosexual?

    Hey , I was just watching some youtube videos of ''ABCNEWS what would you do?'' about homosexuality. And it reminded me to ask a question on here I've never really asked a group of gay people because...

    When I was growing up in NY, we had our own community of gay people, and we were all badasses So , I didn't know anyone who got ''bullied'' for being gay, i mean, if anything we were the bullies .


    Ever since I grew older and found out all the ''suicide'' associated with homophobic bullying, and the kids who cut themselves, etc or get beat up for being gay, which I doubt is because they're gay but probably because they're vulnerable and if they weren't gay they would have been picked on for something else. (because like I said, I'm gay and I've never been picked on for it)

    My question is; have any of you bisexual/lesbian girls on here ever experienced harassment/teasing/bullying in highschool for being gay/bisexual IF you were even aware and active back then?

    Because I just couldn't imagine that some kids in highschool don't stand up for themselves.

    I did hear a story from someone I know now, that at her highschool in New Zealand, there was a girl who kissed another girl at a party, and then when it got around the school everyone started talking shit to her, and she moved schools just to avoid the drama. Apparently they were really mean, like said things like '' Go kill yourself you ugly lesbian, you're disgusting'' or stuff like that. Which doesn't seem bad until someone says it to you with full force. Then it's devastatingly painful.

    I used to get VERY angry hearing about this as a gay person myself (I know I've presented myself as bisexual before, sometimes I say I'm a-sexual and sometimes pansexual too, but the simplest way to identify is gay)

    And I just can't imagine it like i said... because if someone said something to me about being gay NOW I don't even care, but before, I would smack a bitch up.


    Anyone know anything about this subject?

    #2
    I've never wondered this until now - are there any gay men on AW?

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      #3
      I know a friend of mine had a rented a full size house for a while in university and one of his roomates was/is gay, he did not try to hide it, the way he talked, dressed and acted made it quite clear so it made him a very easy target for ignorant and rude people, it just suprised me that even at university there were alot of people that hadn't grown out of bullying people that are different, but he handled it quite well and didn't let it bother him too much but it must have been hard at times

      I just don't understand why could try to make him feel bad, he is a really nice guy, never wanted to make anyone mad, and would do things to help people he didn't even know bucause it was in his nature, it just seems so mean to to pick on someone like that about something that doesn't concern you

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        #4
        I know it's crazy. But I remember, before I realized I was gay... I used to not pick on gay people but be really mean to them. And obviously we found out that it's because I was trying to be mean to myself, telling them it was wrong was like telling myself it was wrong, I was really crying out for someone to tell me ''no. It's not wrong!!! People are aloud to be gay if they want'' which would subconsciously wake me up and make me feel better about it and then, I cud maybe admit to myself, that if it was okay, then maybe I am too.

        So most of the time I think people are judging themselves when judging others. Like if they're afraid to have homosexual thoughts then they wud take it out on others, because they are afraid to even consider it. Like everyone enjoys sexual experimentation even if it's in your mind/fantasies. So to deny yourself that, makes you feel obliged to deny others too. It's all a cry for others to tell you what you want to hear!!! That Whatever you've been taught by your parents is wrong, and that its okay.

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          #5
          I used to beat people up for being mean to gay people when I was in school, and I am not gay at all. The way I see it, whatever makes you happy... Express yourself. Words should never hurt, they mean nothing when it's in an unnecessary fashion. Society is cruel and it will never change. That is why I meditate. Go somewhere comfortable, Sit with your eyes closed and feel nature around you, listen to your breathing. It feels amazing. I can do it for hours if I'm in the right place, such as an empty beach at night in a clear sky. I can see the stars even with my eyes closed.

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            #6
            I'm not sure if it's different from what we hear about in the US for all kids in Australia, but it certainly was for me. I've been bisexual ever since I was sexual (as in, having sexual thoughts and masturbating) and it's never been a problem. I was bullied as a kid, sure, but it mostly stopped by the time I was old enough to have sexual thoughts, and by the time in my teens and I was old enough and brave enough to actually start having any kind of sexual activities with people (making out, touching over clothing and stuff like that) any active bullying was completely over.

            Of course I was still "shunned" by the popular kids, but that was more because I was the weird girl who didn't wear makeup, wore glasses, and who played video games. Nobody actually gave me grief about my sexuality, because they really didn't care either way. Maybe I just went to good schools, but I went to about 5 different schools and often had gay male friends who experienced a similar situation - nobody cared about your sexuality, at all. Unless you tried to talk about it all the time, that could lead to people disliking you.

            In the US, it seems like the anti-homosexual "clubs" are so organised, whereas in Australia, if you get unlucky you'll fall into a nest of homophobes, but you can just move to another school where the kids grew up knowing that homosexuality isn't a big deal, and they'd rather tease you about being "too smart" or "nerdy" or even "ugly".

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              #7
              Originally posted by kylie_h View Post
              In the US, it seems like the anti-homosexual "clubs" are so organised
              Right on Kylie, organised is an understatment. These groups are extremely well funded and besides defaming LBGT's and fomenting hate, these vile organizations contribute money to right wing republican political campaigns.

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                #8
                Hey, now. Let's not get too political here, thar be dragons in dem waters.

                It's a shame that ignorance (by that I mean lack of knowledge, not as an insult) leads to so much fear. Whenever I see an exposé on homophobic bullying, I just want to cuddle all the kids in highschools over in the US and tell them that it's ok and that they can just come to Europe and I'll look after them! There's a load of groups in the US which do pretty much the same thing (well, they don't bring them to Europe, but you get my drift). I loved watching the "It gets better" campaign and openly-gay celebs like Neil Patrick Harris and Ellen do wonderful things to make homosexuality seem "safer" to straight young people.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by Forbid View Post
                  I used to beat people up for being mean to gay people when I was in school, and I am not gay at all. The way I see it, whatever makes you happy... Express yourself. Words should never hurt, they mean nothing when it's in an unnecessary fashion. Society is cruel and it will never change. That is why I meditate. Go somewhere comfortable, Sit with your eyes closed and feel nature around you, listen to your breathing. It feels amazing. I can do it for hours if I'm in the right place, such as an empty beach at night in a clear sky. I can see the stars even with my eyes closed.
                  We don't have a beach near here. Nearest is an hour or 2 on the train. Not sure how to get there, but wouldn't be able to stay at night less I book a hotel or else wouldn't be able to get home. I meditate every day, several times through out the day and at night. At the park in nature on sunny days, bare foot Damaged my eyes solar gazing too early in the day tho. Not sure if it'll ever heal now, but got a white light in my left eye , had it for over a 2 years now. So got to be careful, nature can hurt.

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                    #10
                    I just posted a Morgan Freeman quote that people captured an image of. He TWEETED ''I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You're not scared. You're an asshole''

                    Gahahaha,, boy I cracked up.

                    I guess homophobia does exist, which is what I was. Terrified, other gay people will bring out the gayness in me, then I'll lose my family and friends. My reputation and my status in the school/community. When of course that was all illusion.

                    However, It's also true that, I never went out of my way to pick on, bully, or torment let alone violently attack anyone for being gay. Which is what many people do, and it's called a ''homophobic'' act. If you're AFRAID to be around homosexuals, you're not going to go out and hunt them or beat em up. Clearly, it's not a phobia for them, it is judgement.

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                      #11
                      Well, it depends. Friday night, in Rio, I saw a play (terrible, by the way - if I had read about it before, I wouldn't have seen it) in which the actor (a mainstream brazilian TV actor), raising alone on stage, made several heavy jokes about the status of being gay, lesbian or bi. Two years ago, that same guy, when drunk, tried to flirt with me in a bar. In the other hand, when I crossed with my ex-girlfriend, earlier this year, in Amsterdam, in front of one gay-men bar near Oudekerksplein, we both got sure that we weren't welcome there, even though she is definetely bi, and I've had two or three touch and kiss experiences with men in threesome sex contexts (which makes me technically bi, too). The "phobia" consists in the "social panic" behind all these agressions (phisical, psychological), in both ways (AGAINST the "formal" gay community, but also FROM them, in some occasions). If being gay turns you both the author and the victim in social conflicts, you can definetely talk about a "phobia". That's the sense of the expression "homophobia".

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                        #12
                        Ah, yes. Heterophobia most commonly occuring in "scene" gay clubs. The bane of bisexuals, and lipstick lesbians everywhere. It's really just a case of bullied kids bullying back when you get rejected from a gay bar for being "too straight", but generally those clubs aren't worth going to ('tis a silly place).

                        My favourite clubs are still called gay bars, but I think it would be more apt to call the queer-friendly. Whatever your kink, you're welcome. Whether you want men, women, men-who-were-born-women, women-who-were-born-men, men-who-dress-as-women-but-are-men, and so on or none of the above (you just fancy a drink and a dance) - they're always the source of a great night. Although you certainly have to leave any and all prejudices at the door.

                        Interestingly, ggomesxz (What would you like us to call you? Or is that fine?), are you saying that my jokingly-coined term of heterophobia is actually a kind of homophobia practiced by people who are homosexual themselves?

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by kylie_h View Post
                          ... generally those clubs aren't worth going to ('tis a silly place).
                          Yeah, dunno about Camelot -- silly-fun is good, but silly-foolish doesn't help anyone. :-)))

                          Originally posted by kylie_h View Post
                          ... jokingly-coined term of heterophobia is actually a kind of homophobia practiced by people who are homosexual themselves?
                          I reckon a lot of fear comes from people dividing themselves into groups based on arbitrary characteristics. This gets in the way of seeing all the other things they share in common, creating fear of the unknown.

                          Gender, sexuality, race etc are just small parts of what makes up an individual person. Differences in these traits make people interesting to be around. I hope as societies gradually evolve, for someone to say they're only attracted to the same sex becomes no more or less notable than saying they don't like egg sandwiches (for example) -- just part of varied human condition, and of course nothing to get het-up about. :-))))

                          Also, as has been mentioned by Arianna and others, perhaps people's bad behaviour is sometimes due to fears about themselves (like the cliche that most of the rabid homophobe US preachers turn out to be secretly gay themselves).
                          Last edited by violetafan; 24 September 2012, 10:47 PM.

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                            #14
                            Well, Kylie, "Gomes" is nice for me by now... Basically, what I´m trying to say is that "heterophobia" is nothing but some sort of "backfire" of homophobia itself. Homphobia is a complex behaviour, which also includes, in my opinion, the fear of being gay, the shame on being gay, the rage of gays against themselves or against other gays, and also the rejection, by "engaged" gays, of anything that reminds them about the existence of heterosexuals around the world (including bisexuals and lipstick lesbians - not "engaged", not "stamped" as gay people). All that, for me, fits in the concept and in the context of homophobia. So, "heterophobia" is not a kind of homophobia, but a face, or a side, of the whole thing.

                            By the way, Kylie, which clubs in Amsterdam do you recommend to open-minded, cool and prejudice-free people? Which are, in your opinion, the best "queer-friendly" clubs and bars in Amsterdam?
                            Last edited by ggomesxz; 25 September 2012, 12:48 AM.

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                              #15
                              Oops... Too "mundane" for an answer ... Sorry, this was looking so natural (I hadn´t been around here before!) that I almost forgot I was NOT using Facebook or something similar... That "mundane" talk is far beyond the operational limits of my "avatar"... I was wondering about getting an "upgrade", but... Well, Dungeon Master would say to me: "Birds are born to fly, fishes are born to swim. Keep away from trouble. Never invite a bird to swim, or a fish to fly"...

                              Comment


                                #16
                                Originally posted by ggomesxz View Post
                                By the way, Kylie, which clubs in Amsterdam do you recommend to open-minded, cool and prejudice-free people? Which are, in your opinion, the best "queer-friendly" clubs and bars in Amsterdam?
                                I haven't actually found any bars here in Amsterdam that fit the bill. I'm a bit of a homebody so for me to find a place like that takes a lot of effort and a bunch of friends to bolster my confidence to go out on the town. I think the fear of the language barrier and the slight feel of being an outsider that you get as a expat (or possibly that's just me and my neurosis) can be big deterrents to going out on the town.

                                Originally posted by ggomesxz View Post
                                Oops... Too "mundane" for an answer ... Sorry, this was looking so natural (I hadn´t been around here before!) that I almost forgot I was NOT using Facebook or something similar... That "mundane" talk is far beyond the operational limits of my "avatar"... I was wondering about getting an "upgrade", but... Well, Dungeon Master would say to me: "Birds are born to fly, fishes are born to swim. Keep away from trouble. Never invite a bird to swim, or a fish to fly"...
                                Not sure about all the quotation marks, but if this was a little dig at my forgetting to respond, you can see how lame my above answer is and why I wanted to wait until I could research what might be some good clubs before replying. Unlike with facebook, I don't have a helpful little notification icon and if I don't reply right away (sometimes I look at the boards when I should be working on something and can't really take the time to write a long reply) then I tend to lose track of a thread.

                                My model's speak thread is the closest thing I can guarantee to a place where you will get an answer. But it'll be 'eventually', not always right away. I work 9:30am-6pm and sometimes I can pop in while working, and other times I can't so occasionally it takes me a few days to have the time to really sit down and give a reply deserving of the original post. Sorry if I've misinterpreted what you meant, but I just felt a bit defensive as I do try my best to remember to respond to everyone.

                                Comment


                                  #17
                                  Sorry, Kylie. You didn´t even owe me any explanation at all... I also felt a bit defensive, as I didn´t (and still don´t) know exactly what to expect from a REAL conversation started here.

                                  Well, I really love Amsterdam and the Dutch people, and I felt really confortable in both occasions I´ve been around there. I´m Brazilian, and my Dutch doesn´t go much further than popping one "alstublieft" here, one "uitsmijter" there, and that´s it. But litteraly everybody in the Netherlands speaks English (much better than me, I guess). So, Kylie, I think you can relax about the language barrier. It doesn´t exist in the Netherlands, for those who speak English.

                                  I´ve never been to Australia, and I don´t know much about how things work there. I also never LIVED in Amsterdam, which can actually be very different from spending a couple of days around. Maybe next year I´ll try something closer to the idea of "living" there. Than I´ll let you know what that really feels to me...

                                  Anyway, if your future plans are not sitted in Europe and in the Netherlands, I think you should try to, let´s say, "taste" every little piece of joy and culture that Europe can offer. Of course, working for AW - either modeling (sexxxy!!) or contributing to its background and intelligence/creation processes - is already a huuuuuuuuuuuuge experience, by all means. I admire your work, and averything you can trace in perspective from it (I mean, the CULTURAL VALUES, in large sense, I believe are behind what you all do in AW).

                                  Kisses,

                                  GGomes

                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    "EVERYTHING" (my English is not THAT bad)

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