AW Education: What sort of text message should I send after a good first date?

[Frans]

AW Education: What sort of text message should I send after a good first date??

[Dekoda]

I don't know if these AW Education threads are for the models only, so if that's the case, I apologize for responding as I'm not sure if it's okay to reply to these.

First, sending a text message is tacky, to say the least. I don't own a cell phone, I will never own a cell phone, and I think cell phones should be outlawed....nobody NEEDS a cell phone. After a first date, if I think it went well, I'd send the woman flowers with a note saying how much I enjoyed the date and that I hoped we could do it again. I think that every woman would appreciate getting flowers from a date that went well, so why cheapen it with a text message on a cell phone? Text messages are free, whereas sending flowers shows that you don't mind spending money to show the woman that you care enough about her to send her flowers. As a bonus, I think that any woman would be happy if you sent the flowers to her workplace, because that would make the other female workers there envious....or at the very least, inquisitive about who sent the flowers. I like to send flowers because I think that it makes the woman feel special....which she is to me.

Looking at it from the woman's side, if I sent her flowers, all I'd ask in the card attached to the flowers is that, if she had a good time and would like to go out with me again, just call me.(I'd include my phone number). Doing it like this would give the woman leeway so that if she didn't want to go out again, she would just not call me. If she did want to go out again, calling me would only be considered a response to the flowers that I sent her. I think that doing it this way makes it easier for the woman.

[renae_d]

In response to Dekoda:
“I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies:
1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that's invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

That man was a genius.

[Dekoda]

Renae, let me ask you....if you went on a date that both of you felt went well, and the next day, the guy sent you flowers, would you rather have that or a text message? How would it make you feel if the flowers were sent to your workplace so that all of the other ladies there got to see the flowers?

While I am an old timer, I think that no matter what your age, sending flowers as opposed to sending a text message, would always be better received by the lady. A man has to show the lady that he appreciates her and holds her in the highest esteem, so sending her a text message comes across as cheap and tacky to me.

[renae_d]

why can't I get both?

[Frans]

why can't I get both?

Text-message AND flowers ? Getting greedy ? I think text-message is fine to say it was a fun evening, I'd have to say flowers say that a bit more strongly though?
(besides, it's fun to give flowers)

[Jada]

Honestly, if someone sent flowers to my workplace after only one date, I would be embarrassed. All of my coworkers would be asking questions, and maybe my boss would disapprove because it's mixing personal and work life. I just wouldn't want my coworkers to know my business--especially if it was only one date and nothing serious, why should I indulge the details of my private life to everyone else? This would also seem to me like the guy was a bit over eager and would honestly turn me off. Now if it was after at least several weeks of dating, or was a more serious relationship, I would see this as very romantic.
I guess if you were opposed to text messages a phone call would be nice. But I don't see texts as tacky or cheap at all. It's just another method of communication and is quite natural for this generation

[Dekoda]

Honestly, if someone sent flowers to my workplace after only one date, I would be embarrassed. All of my coworkers would be asking questions, and maybe my boss would disapprove because it's mixing personal and work life. I just wouldn't want my coworkers to know my business--especially if it was only one date and nothing serious, why should I indulge the details of my private life to everyone else? This would also seem to me like the guy was a bit over eager and would honestly turn me off. Now if it was after at least several weeks of dating, or was a more serious relationship, I would see this as very romantic.
I guess if you were opposed to text messages a phone call would be nice. But I don't see texts as tacky or cheap at all. It's just another method of communication and is quite natural for this generation

I guess that's one of the differences between our generations. My generation felt that sending a woman flowers after one date was appropriate if you both had a good time. It also gave you the opportunity to ask her out again by writing it on the card, along with your phone number, that was included with the flowers. If you were to just ask her if she'd like to go out again at the end of the date, and she wasn't sure, or she didn't want to, that would put her on the spot, but if you sent her flowers with the request on the card, if she didn't want to go out with you again, she only had to not reply. Many times I have sent flowers to a woman after the first date...sometimes to her home, and sometimes to their workplace. Heck, on several occasions (after several dates), I've sent the women African Roses....Roses that are grown in Africa, then shipped to a certain florist in California in special boxes, where he then ships them to individuals all over the US. If you've never seen an African Rose, they look just like every other rose except that they are huge....so huge that you couldn't put a dozen of them in one vase.

I think that my generation frowns on text messages because they are so impersonal. It comes across to me that a person sending a text message is too lazy or not that interested, if they don't want to be bothered to make a phone call or send flowers. Again, this is just how my generation sees it.