First, I want to apologize to everyone here....the staff, the models and the members, for my atrocious behavior. It took someone I highly respect to confront me about it, and that made me realize that my depression has returned. What was told to me were the exact symptoms of my depression....I become very negative, I am confrontational, I become argumentative, the smallest things irritate me and make me angry, I am grumpy, just to name a few. I should have seen what was happening and started back on my anti-depressants, but it comes on so gradually that I don't notice it. It also affects my judgement, so I rationalize away what I'm doing.
Once I was confronted about it, I realized that I was doing the same thing in another forum that I frequent, as well as in everyday life. I don't know how bad my behavior could ultimately become, and hopefully I'll never find out. I haven't taken the anti-depressants in over two years, so I don't know how long the depression has been affecting me. I stopped taking them because of the side effects....they make me sweat excessively...so much so that when I would go grocery shopping, I'd go at night when the store is empty, I'd walk slowly trying to hold off sweating, but when I went to check out, the sweat would be running down my face, my arms would be sweating so much that the sweat would be dripping off my arms and onto the counter, and my shirt looked like I was hit with a fire hose. I can't handle sweating that much all of the time, so once I feel better, I stop taking the pills, and typically, the depression doesn't return for some time....or at least, I don't think it returns for some time.
Anyway, I started back on the anti-depressants today, and it'll take time to get my head back in a good place, so until then, I'll back away from the site for fear I might post something disrespectful or offensive again.
Again, my sincerest apologies to everyone here.
Dekoda
Once I was confronted about it, I realized that I was doing the same thing in another forum that I frequent, as well as in everyday life. I don't know how bad my behavior could ultimately become, and hopefully I'll never find out. I haven't taken the anti-depressants in over two years, so I don't know how long the depression has been affecting me. I stopped taking them because of the side effects....they make me sweat excessively...so much so that when I would go grocery shopping, I'd go at night when the store is empty, I'd walk slowly trying to hold off sweating, but when I went to check out, the sweat would be running down my face, my arms would be sweating so much that the sweat would be dripping off my arms and onto the counter, and my shirt looked like I was hit with a fire hose. I can't handle sweating that much all of the time, so once I feel better, I stop taking the pills, and typically, the depression doesn't return for some time....or at least, I don't think it returns for some time.
Anyway, I started back on the anti-depressants today, and it'll take time to get my head back in a good place, so until then, I'll back away from the site for fear I might post something disrespectful or offensive again.
Again, my sincerest apologies to everyone here.
Dekoda
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