Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Some Humor

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    some junk you may find funny or reuse some place else
    Attached Files

    Comment


      5 Guys in a Limo:

      What happens when you put five of the world's most sought-after and well-known voiceover artists together in one car? Listen and see.

      In a world where a select group of men use their unique voiceover talents comes the short film that brought a nation to its feet.Starring Don LaFontaine, Joh...


      Incidentally Mark Elliot, the predominant voice for Disney trailers, also was the main voice for Drake Chenault broadcast music formats.

      Comment


        I know God is giggling! A Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day! Gotta love this Judge! You must read this......A proper decision by the courts...for a change. A FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAYIn Florida, an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"The lawyer immediately stood and objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..." The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counselor, is woefully ignorant." The lawyer said," Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists." The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fool's Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned..."You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture! This is too good not to forward!

        Comment


          I could see me doing this
          Attached Files

          Comment


            The following are replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing 'Father's Details,' or putting it another way...Who's your Baby Daddy?
            These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

            Be sure to check out #11, it takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up.

            1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

            2... I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken
            unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

            3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks... (The runner-up).

            4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

            5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

            6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country.. Please advise.

            7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

            8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you axe him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well, I don't have clue..

            9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World. Maybe it really is the Magic
            Kingdom .

            10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave , mine might have remained unfertilized.


            11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart. (This made number #1).

            WHEN THE WEALTH IS REDISTRIBUTED THESE PEOPLE WILL BE THE MAJOR RECIPIENTS.

            Comment


              landed last nite in the 13126 zip code area and no "no apparent survivers '' THAT WERE FOUND
              Attached Files

              Comment


                THEY WERe seen earlier talking to the eat mor chiken cows
                Attached Files
                Last edited by sterling2; 23 October 2012, 08:52 PM. Reason: just had to add it

                Comment


                  The Penis Study
                  The American government funded a study to see why the head of a man's Penis was wider than the shaft. After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was wider than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

                  After the U.S. published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was wider than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.
                  Canadians, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46 and 2 cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.

                  Comment


                    .
                    The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The
                    midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told
                    him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his
                    pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to
                    examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the
                    midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
                    "Hmm..."mumbled the doctor, and as he puts his finger under the right
                    testicle, he asked the midget to cough again.
                    "Aha!" said the doctor, and reached for his surgical scissors....
                    Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side . . . then snip-snip-snip-snip on the
                    left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with
                    amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to
                    walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.
                    The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his
                    testicles were no longer aching.
                    The doctor said, "How does that feel now?" The midget replied, "Perfect Doc,
                    and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
                    The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots

                    Comment


                      Who was the world's greatest lover?

                      It wasn't Valentino.

                      It wasn't Cassanova.

                      It was Bounty, because Bounty is the quicker picker-upper.

                      Those familiar with the classic adverts for Bounty and are old enough to remember seeing those on the telly will get that.

                      Comment


                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...v=HNMq8XS4LhE#!

                        Odd little video I thought would be appreciated here.

                        Comment


                          very creative video

                          Comment


                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=HNMq8XS4LhE

                            This video is cute and funny. And the music is addictive.

                            Comment


                              A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed. As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do.Because she was so worried, she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.In a calm voice, the husband said, "Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."He said, "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it."

                              Comment


                                great advice
                                Attached Files

                                Comment


                                  november is the month around here that men grow moustaches to raise awareness for prostate cancer, this is the best "stash" I've seen
                                  Attached Files

                                  Comment


                                    A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college. Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home.

                                    "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Laramie that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!"

                                    "That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?"

                                    "Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course."

                                    So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.

                                    About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

                                    "So how's Ol' Blue doing son?" his father asks.

                                    "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"

                                    "Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"

                                    "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."

                                    The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read.

                                    So he shoots the dog.

                                    When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"

                                    "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"

                                    The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that SOB before he talks to your Mother!"

                                    "I sure did, Dad!"

                                    "That's my boy!"

                                    The kid went on to law school, and now serves in Washington D.C. As a Congressman...

                                    Comment


                                      The morning man, Bob, of this famous and high-powered radio station was occasionally the target of practical jokes during his show. Fortunately Bob was always good-natured and kept his composure whenever someone from the radio station's news department or one of the other disc jockeys there pulled a prank.

                                      This prank was perfect for the Bob and his show that Halloween morning.

                                      Comment


                                        If you haven't seen this prank yet, then I think you will like it.

                                        This guy has other pranks like this one. There are three parts to this prank, and they are all funny.

                                        Comment


                                          speaks fo its self

                                          not quite as funny as I would like
                                          Attached Files

                                          Comment


                                            At the height of the famous 'Streaking' fad back in 1974 when folks could randomly be seen 'streaking' stark-naked in any unlikely and unexpected place and moment, WOWO-1190's morning man gets the surprise of his life and career with radio-1190 as he begins a routine announcement in his show when suddenly...

                                            Comment


                                              just plain dumb stuff
                                              Attached Files

                                              Comment


                                                #humour
                                                A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. ‘I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.’

                                                So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.

                                                In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.

                                                The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, ‘I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?’ the millionaire asks.

                                                The guy grabs the microphone and says, ‘Why don’t we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!’
                                                Collapse this post

                                                Comment


                                                  there are many harlem shake vids out there, but I must have watched this one 50 times in the last 3 days https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRYaGpDUfYU

                                                  Comment


                                                    Timbo,

                                                    Honestly, this is the first Harlem Shake video I like. In my eyes this HS stuff is absolute crap...

                                                    Lxm

                                                    Comment


                                                      some junk from the world tonight this is ten letters why is this to short tonight
                                                      Attached Files
                                                      Last edited by sterling2; 26 February 2013, 08:51 AM. Reason: none to do in this post

                                                      Comment


                                                        cat plus

                                                        Click image for larger version

Name:	65555_389027071196071_150492031_n.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	41.4 KB
ID:	643627and a fine cat he is

                                                        Comment


                                                          Originally posted by Luxman View Post
                                                          Timbo,

                                                          Honestly, this is the first Harlem Shake video I like. In my eyes this HS stuff is absolute crap...

                                                          Lxm
                                                          I agree Lux, the usual harlem shake video is not very creative in not very intelligent, but who doesn't love to see a washing machine get destroyed??

                                                          Comment


                                                            Originally posted by timbo83 View Post
                                                            I agree Lux, the usual harlem shake video is not very creative in not very intelligent, but who doesn't love to see a washing machine get destroyed??
                                                            I'd rather watch century3horizons videos.- lol

                                                            Comment


                                                              Comment

                                                              Subscribe to our e-mail newsletter

                                                               
                                                              Sign up for the abby newsletter. Don't worry, we'll NEVER share your email address with anyone.
                                                              Working...
                                                              X