Cruiser9,
From you talking about your mom, it seems that we may be around the same age. That was a bit before my time. I'll tell you an interesting experience in MY life.
In grades 1-7, I went to an all-white, upper middle class school. At the start of my 8th grade year, in 1968, I transferred to a school that was roughly 50-50. It might have been 60-40 white, but roughly equal. I clearly remember Bobby Kennedy being shot, and on the night Martin Luther King, Jr. was shot I was watching t.v. in the very room i'm sitting in as I write this. Of course, that whole period during those days was very "electric". At any rate, I don't know if it was the night King was shot or maybe a night or so later, but there were t.v. reports of riots in the major U.S. cities: New York, Washington, D.C., Chicago, Los Angeles. In my town, (at that time, about 30,000 people), there were reports of two busloads off trouble makers on their way from Memphis coming to cause trouble in our town. Supposedly, they were led by a guy nicknamed "Sweet Willie Wine". At any rate, in my small town, they declared a curfue and actually called out the national guard. That night, we sat in our house wondering what was going on in town, a short 3 miles away. Of course, I'll never forget the feeling of fear of the future and what it would bring.
The interesting thing was my experience at school. Now I had followed the civil rights movement along with other current day topics, the Vietnam War, etc. I was definitely pro-civil rights for everyone, anti-vietnam war, yadda yadda yadda. What was interesting was that even though I was pro civil-rights, I found it very difficult down at the new school that was roughly equal in racial mix. The reason was, that there were black kids that didn't like me. Even caused me trouble. Just imagine, me!!! A pro civil-rights white person!!!. After awhile, I was very unhappy and I couldn't reconcile my "political views" with my experience at the school. Now you have to remember I was in junior high school so I had no experience to sort these things out with. After my ninth grade year, everyone had to choose a school to go to for high school, and I went back to the all white, upper middle class one. I didn't choose to go back there solely because of the race thing but i'd be lying if I told you it didn't play a part in the decision.
When I went back to the all white school and people would say, I'm for equal rights or I"m pro civil rights, etc., I may not always say, (although a few times I did), but I would think, "You don't know what your talking about". And at that time, I didn't even understand why I felt THAT way.
Over the years, I sorted it out. After many years, I realized that what I was experiencing was the experience of being judged by the color of my skin. I was experiencing the experience of someone not caring about my views on things but judging me because of skin color. I felt the hate coming from those kids. It was an experience that, given my background, I had never experienced before and I truly didn't understand it. Over the years, I had many other interesting experiences along the lines. I lived for 12 years in Washington, D.C. (in D.C. ). But that experience in junior high gave me an education at least as valuable as what I learned in the class room.
My background and experience is white, upper middle class America. For a very small fraction of time in my life, I experienced a tiny bit of what it's liked to be on the receiving end of hate. I had an escape route, but I know most people do not. It makes me sick.
Alleyes
From you talking about your mom, it seems that we may be around the same age. That was a bit before my time. I'll tell you an interesting experience in MY life.
In grades 1-7, I went to an all-white, upper middle class school. At the start of my 8th grade year, in 1968, I transferred to a school that was roughly 50-50. It might have been 60-40 white, but roughly equal. I clearly remember Bobby Kennedy being shot, and on the night Martin Luther King, Jr. was shot I was watching t.v. in the very room i'm sitting in as I write this. Of course, that whole period during those days was very "electric". At any rate, I don't know if it was the night King was shot or maybe a night or so later, but there were t.v. reports of riots in the major U.S. cities: New York, Washington, D.C., Chicago, Los Angeles. In my town, (at that time, about 30,000 people), there were reports of two busloads off trouble makers on their way from Memphis coming to cause trouble in our town. Supposedly, they were led by a guy nicknamed "Sweet Willie Wine". At any rate, in my small town, they declared a curfue and actually called out the national guard. That night, we sat in our house wondering what was going on in town, a short 3 miles away. Of course, I'll never forget the feeling of fear of the future and what it would bring.
The interesting thing was my experience at school. Now I had followed the civil rights movement along with other current day topics, the Vietnam War, etc. I was definitely pro-civil rights for everyone, anti-vietnam war, yadda yadda yadda. What was interesting was that even though I was pro civil-rights, I found it very difficult down at the new school that was roughly equal in racial mix. The reason was, that there were black kids that didn't like me. Even caused me trouble. Just imagine, me!!! A pro civil-rights white person!!!. After awhile, I was very unhappy and I couldn't reconcile my "political views" with my experience at the school. Now you have to remember I was in junior high school so I had no experience to sort these things out with. After my ninth grade year, everyone had to choose a school to go to for high school, and I went back to the all white, upper middle class one. I didn't choose to go back there solely because of the race thing but i'd be lying if I told you it didn't play a part in the decision.
When I went back to the all white school and people would say, I'm for equal rights or I"m pro civil rights, etc., I may not always say, (although a few times I did), but I would think, "You don't know what your talking about". And at that time, I didn't even understand why I felt THAT way.
Over the years, I sorted it out. After many years, I realized that what I was experiencing was the experience of being judged by the color of my skin. I was experiencing the experience of someone not caring about my views on things but judging me because of skin color. I felt the hate coming from those kids. It was an experience that, given my background, I had never experienced before and I truly didn't understand it. Over the years, I had many other interesting experiences along the lines. I lived for 12 years in Washington, D.C. (in D.C. ). But that experience in junior high gave me an education at least as valuable as what I learned in the class room.
My background and experience is white, upper middle class America. For a very small fraction of time in my life, I experienced a tiny bit of what it's liked to be on the receiving end of hate. I had an escape route, but I know most people do not. It makes me sick.
Alleyes
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