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    telling your parents...

    since it seemed to be becoming a hot topic in one of the other threads, i thought i'd start a fresh one about doing this kind of work and telling your parents about it. i'm interested to know how many models out there have told their parents, and what kind of reactions they've received. also, how many models have not told their parents, and what are your main concerns about them finding out?

    and how would our members feel about their child doing something like this? would you be supportive, or would you be horrified/disappointed? would it upset you that hundreds of men were masturbating to videos of your daughter, or would you accept and embrace her choices and be okay with it?

    #2
    i would never tell my parents. they have enough trouble dealing with the fact im a lesbian let alone telling them im now proving it to the whole world. i dont think they would be very happy with the idea and would probably disown me. i would be more inclined to tell my hippie grandmother who would probably ask where to sign up.

    if i had grown up kids i dont think i would have a problem with them doing it as long as it was for the right reasons. i think this sight does not degrade models but embraces their beauty.

    Comment


      #3
      I certainly haven't told my parents, there's not really any need to since I have a day job! I'm interested in what you do tell your parents, Rachel, since nude modelling is your main source of income isn't it? What do they think you do to support yourself?

      I come from a moderately strict Catholic upbringing, were there was ZERO discussion of sex and related topics and even now that's not something I would be able to discuss with my parents. So AW is out of the question - they would be horribly concerned that I'm being exploited or immoral or something like that and would not understand what it's about at all - that it's for fun, self-confidence, a bit of profit, and more fun!

      I like to think that I would be open to my children making similar choices, although I guess the experience is always different from the theory. Like Tamara said it would really depend on the quality of the site they chose to appear on - AW or similar I would have not problem with but there are some awful, awful sites out there and that would scare me if they got involved in one of those.

      Comment


        #4
        Geez if I told my parents they'd flip. Coming from a strong Christian family its totally against what they believed in, well I spose so is being a lesbian and we know how they reacted to that. I can imagine disownment or something along those lines.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by emmar
          I certainly haven't told my parents, there's not really any need to since I have a day job! I'm interested in what you do tell your parents, Rachel, since nude modelling is your main source of income isn't it? What do they think you do to support yourself?
          "i work in a bar"

          i've been perpetuating that lie since march 2003. it hasn't been easy. yeah, i do work in a bar but not serving drinks... lol.

          my parents know that i have, in the past, worked as a topless waitress. i did however really over-exaggerate how much i was being paid to justify it to them, and told them i was only doing one shift a week when i was in fact doing it full-time. they weren't too happy about it, but they really just kinda chose to ignore it and took the attitude of "you're old enough to make your own decisions".

          they'd definitely see a difference between doing one shift of topless waitressing per week, and getting completely nude as a full-time job. my parents aren't religious or particularly strict, they were very good with teaching us about sex stuff and gave me & my brothers a fair amount of freedom - like i said in the other thread, my parents' main issue with it would be "what will people think of us?". my dad would yell, my mum would cry and blame herself for failing to raise a 'normal' child. it wouldn't be pleasant. my parents live in a small country town and my dad holds a position of high respect in the community, and my parents are pretty snobby and judgemental. i get along with them fantastically, and i'm very close to them... but they're very concerned with other peoples' opinions of them.

          i figure that they're going to find out eventually, as i plan to keep doing it for many years to come. sometimes i wonder whether they're going to be more pissed about the nudity, or about the fact that i've lied to them for so long..

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by rachel_t
            and how would our members feel about their child doing something like this? would you be supportive, or would you be horrified/disappointed? would it upset you that hundreds of men were masturbating to videos of your daughter, or would you accept and embrace her choices and be okay with it?
            Well if you ladies are the norm then I doubt I would ever find out about my daughters adventures. But if I came across her pic's on this site I'm sure I would fall of my chair but I don't think I would say anything to her bury my head in the sand. Which leads me to ask have any of the models hear been outed by a family member or anyone else that you haven't told. Do you think that some may have seen your photos and buried their head in the sand. Would you prefer them to say something if they knew.

            Thanks

            MrPinkEyes

            Comment


              #7
              Actually I would be horrified if I saw our daughters nudie pics on aw.com or indeed anywhere else. This may seem hypocritical considering my own track record with regards to PYN sites and to some extent here. I guess its because our eldest is 10 years old and I'm just doing the protective mother thing.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by emmar
                ...I come from a moderately strict Catholic upbringing, were there was ZERO discussion of sex and related topics and even now that's not something I would be able to discuss with my parents. ....
                Some things appear not to have changed in the last 30-40 years.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Mrs Roops
                  Actually I would be horrified if I saw our daughters nudie pics on aw.com or indeed anywhere else. This may seem hypocritical considering my own track record with regards to PYN sites and to some extent here. I guess its because our eldest is 10 years old and I'm just doing the protective mother thing.
                  We were in Italy last week and my 11 yr old daughter managed to stop a teenager dead in his tracks, (he nearly walked straight into a lampost). I've noticed that she is 'maturing' quickly (blossoming, one might say) and i'm really not too sure how to feel about this especially in relation to this thread. She's off to High school in Sept, she's attracting interest from boys and soon to be a teenager.

                  Now i've been into porn for as long as ive had a hole in my bum. It used to be sneeking into a newsagent and a quick stretch up to the top shelf. Trips to Europe for videos etc. The internet changed everything, and ive done my fairshare of 'teen' sites. I have no idea how many other peoples daughters i have seen naked. Countless.

                  The point is how to feel about having a teenager of my own. I am incredibly proud of her and like to think i always will be. I certainly wouldn't mind if she were gay. (My wifes sister is gay and we've talked about this with my daughter. Were an open and non religious family.) But how would i feel if i came accross her on the internet? I'm worried i would be a hipocrite. The girls on this site are amazing, but i'm sure that this has alot to do with strong leadership from Abby. Attitude on here seems as important as looks, like Abby wants you to be honest about your reasons for posing. The trouble is that its a big bad world and most sites are not run to the standard of AW. As a Father i would worry. (do worry!).

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Abbyhabit
                    The point is how to feel about having a teenager of my own. I am incredibly proud of her and like to think i always will be. I certainly wouldn't mind if she were gay. (My wifes sister is gay and we've talked about this with my daughter. Were an open and non religious family.) But how would i feel if i came accross her on the internet? I'm worried i would be a hipocrite.
                    I have no problem in being a hypocrite when it comes to the welfare of our children. That's the nature of being a parent. Also, I do not wish our children to end up gay. But if it happens then they will still enjoy our love, support and protection.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by rachel_t
                      "i work in a bar"

                      i've been perpetuating that lie since march 2003. it hasn't been easy. yeah, i do work in a bar but not serving drinks... lol.
                      ...
                      i figure that they're going to find out eventually, as i plan to keep doing it for many years to come. sometimes i wonder whether they're going to be more pissed about the nudity, or about the fact that i've lied to them for so long..
                      I have a daughter-in-law who is the mother of two of my grandchildren. Not many years ago I was told by my wife that her job in a bar was as a stripper.
                      I knew the bar through other woman's bad experiences there. It was a drain hole where underage girls were sucked into life destroying activities. To say the least I was not happy about the discovery. What upset me the most was that I had been lied to but also the negative environment.

                      She and I do not talk as she has not approved of me since the day she discovered some of my erotic art sketches (of imaginary people).

                      So here we are a stripper and a dirty old man who politely avoid each other. I suppose we are bother embarassed by our own socially "incorrect" erotic activities.

                      On the other had my wife has modelled nude in art classes for years. She has always been open about it and we both have connsided it a positive life experience for her.

                      From my prospective, it is not so much what you do as how and where you do it.

                      Geo

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Mrs Roops
                        Also, I do not wish our children to end up gay. But if it happens then they will still enjoy our love, support and protection.
                        Well said. However, if they are gay, is it not a pre-determined gene thing rather than something that they 'end up'? I would hazard a guess that there are a few people on here with an opinion on that can of worms.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by mrpinkeyes
                          Which leads me to ask have any of the models hear been outed by a family member or anyone else that you haven't told.
                          my uncle came into a strip club i used to work at once. he was shocked, to say the least, but he never spoke a word to my parents about it and never came into the club again. it's kind of our little private joke now... when i see him he always asks me with a grin, "so how's work?" lol

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Abbyhabit
                            Well said. However, if they are gay, is it not a pre-determined gene thing rather than something that they 'end up'? I would hazard a guess that there are a few people on here with an opinion on that can of worms.
                            I've an open mind, whilst there is evidence that some are conditioned to homosexuality, the balance of probabilities is that its a gene thing.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by rachel_t
                              my uncle came into a strip club i used to work at once. he was shocked, to say the least, but he never spoke a word to my parents about it and never came into the club again. it's kind of our little private joke now... when i see him he always asks me with a grin, "so how's work?" lol
                              Thats bizzare! It would make for interesting Christmas conversations though hey?! hehehe

                              I just figure if someone in my family stumbled onto the website and found me, well i guess i would say something to my folks if they found out, but i'm not going to tell them stuff. Its not that its a secret and i have to hide information from my folks, its the fact that i havent lived with them or any of my family for about 8 years and have been making my own decisions (some good, some not so good). Making my own life choices - if i ever had any regrets about AW work then i wouldnt continue to come back and grab any chance i get to do another great photo shoot plus i wouldnt be chatting with you guys on here either and that wouldnt be great at all!!!

                              I think perhaps as you get older and become more independent of your family then there are things that you dont feel necessary to tell them. I still speak with my folks about 1 or 2 times a week but i certainly dont tell them that i had sex last night or i masturbated on the weekend with another girl, or that i have had sex with 3 girls. Not the best conversations, for me at least.

                              My folks are open minded to a point but i dont feel the need to test that openness! If i were gay they would have no issue in accepting that, they might be disappointed that i wouldnt have the "normal" lifestyle but its the era they were brought up in and alot of stuff i do was and still is taboo!

                              Anyway, i'm rambling..... lalalala...

                              Comment


                                #16
                                Originally posted by Margaret
                                ...
                                I think perhaps as you get older and become more independent of your family then there are things that you dont feel necessary to tell them. I... lalalala...
                                Very nicely said.

                                Geo

                                Comment


                                  #17
                                  I find it a mark of AW that this debate would even be initiated and then carried out with such a significant level of honesty and integrity.As this is , as far as I am aware, a hypothetical situation, I can only reflect on my feelings on other sexual matters.
                                  I am a Dad with two extremely pretty daughters of 21 and 20. Before they became sexually active I genuinely wondered how I would feel about my"girls" doing this.As it turned out it hasnt bothered me in the slightest and I have had not a moments unease.Given my own sexual track record I would have had no logical right to feel uncomfortable with any choices they made but emotions are the key to this question not logic, at least in my case.
                                  Therefore, logically, I could not possibly have any objections to my daughters appearing on a website like this, however my emotional reaction might be different.I genuinely hope that I would be as relaxed with this as I have been with their sexuality and sex lives but my honest response has to be , I just don't know. However what I can state with absolutely certainty is that I would be much happier in either case for them to appear on AW given the ethos and integrity ( that word again) of the organisation.
                                  thecat

                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by thecat
                                    I find it a mark of AW that this debate would even be initiated and then carried out with such a significant level of honesty and integrity.
                                    I agree with you - I love that everyone is so open and upfront about how they feel about things, even really knotty personal questions like this. It gives you more faith in human nature, when even on a porn site you can have discussions like this! LOL

                                    Comment


                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by emmar
                                      ... porn site ..LOL
                                      Oh!!!! please . an Erotic Art site...

                                      Comment


                                        #20
                                        i actually find the conversations & discussions on AW much more interesting and in-depth than most of the other forums i post on!

                                        Comment


                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by rachel_t
                                          my uncle came into a strip club i used to work at once. he was shocked, to say the least, but he never spoke a word to my parents about it and never came into the club again. it's kind of our little private joke now... when i see him he always asks me with a grin, "so how's work?" lol
                                          Along this theme, the new movie "Mini's First Time" is a tale of a young gal who encounters her step-dad unexpectedly as her callgirl client and then schemes with him to kill off her mother. It's mildly diverting...worth seeing and certainly worth renting when it comes out on DVD or video.

                                          Comment


                                            #22
                                            As one of my male friends said to me the other day... imagine having kids. Boys would be ok but a girl would be weird. She would come home with boyfriends and i would be like 'Hey! that guys trying to score with my daughter!" I think it would definately be different for dads but it depends on what they were like as a kid. My parents always wanted me to do well - go to uni and all that. I think that they would be 'disapointed' so i wouldnt tell them cause avoiding that is important to me. If they could see it from my veiw - i'm having fun and im getting paid for it....

                                            Comment


                                              #23
                                              i too have abstained form telling my parents, and when i try to work out why and put a reason to it, i cant really. their reactions could swing wither way eqaully. i think it might add to my mum's old (i hope) thoughts of me being a druggie and a dealer so that might come into not telling her. but really, they have no real need to know. i dont lie to them about it, and if they asked then i would honestly tell them. but until then, its between you me and AW world.

                                              Comment


                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by geoman
                                                I have a daughter-in-law who is the mother of two of my grandchildren. Not many years ago I was told by my wife that her job in a bar was as a stripper.
                                                I knew the bar through other woman's bad experiences there. It was a drain hole where underage girls were sucked into life destroying activities. To say the least I was not happy about the discovery. What upset me the most was that I had been lied to but also the negative environment.

                                                She and I do not talk as she has not approved of me since the day she discovered some of my erotic art sketches (of imaginary people).

                                                So here we are a stripper and a dirty old man who politely avoid each other. I suppose we are bother embarassed by our own socially "incorrect" erotic activities.

                                                On the other had my wife has modelled nude in art classes for years. She has always been open about it and we both have connsided it a positive life experience for her.

                                                From my prospective, it is not so much what you do as how and where you do it.

                                                Geo
                                                As an older man raised in a different generation, i HAVE TO SAY THIS: I would rather my daughter (if I had one) tell me herself.
                                                I would be disappointed, upset, and all the other negative things, BUT, It would be 100 times worse if I found out for another source. Even many years later. The first (her telling me) I would get over eventually (It is my daughter for heaven's sake) but it would be like a stab in the heart I would never get over if I found out from another source.

                                                Comment


                                                  #25
                                                  my mother found out when she was reading an email a friend had sent me. you know how when you reply to an email, the original text is still down the bottom, well she got to the bottom, but didnt stop readin it went on to say what i had done some nude modelling, and that i had really enjoyed it, but nothing else about it. all she said was 'i think you'd better hide that from your father!' and she never mentioned it or asked about it at all! lucky me! xoxoxoMJ

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                                                    #26
                                                    Originally posted by maryjane
                                                    my mother found out when she was reading an email a friend had sent me. you know how when you reply to an email, the original text is still down the bottom, well she got to the bottom, but didnt stop readin it went on to say what i had done some nude modelling, and that i had really enjoyed it, but nothing else about it. all she said was 'i think you'd better hide that from your father!' and she never mentioned it or asked about it at all! lucky me! xoxoxoMJ
                                                    Wow that is lucky! Hmmm, here's a poll - do you think that your mother or your father would react differently? Who would take the news worst? Who would take it best? Is there a reason why you think that?

                                                    I think that my dad would possibly take it worst - protective male thing, maybe? I think that in general my mum is more accepting of things that I do than my dad. Then again, I could be wrong - as I've said elsewhere, I intend never to find out!

                                                    Comment


                                                      #27
                                                      Originally posted by geoman
                                                      Oh!!!! please . an Erotic Art site...

                                                      LOL ... whatever!!

                                                      Comment


                                                        #28
                                                        Originally posted by emmar
                                                        Wow that is lucky! Hmmm, here's a poll - do you think that your mother or your father would react differently? Who would take the news worst? Who would take it best? Is there a reason why you think that?
                                                        very good question!! my parents would both react badly, but in different ways. my dad would be so unbelievably angry and disappointed in me. my mum would cry and blame herself and say she failed to raise a normal child. there'd be a lot of them calling me, me answering the phone, getting yelled at with "oh, i just cant believe you'd do this! you little bitch! blah blah blah oh god i just can't talk to you right now!" and they'd hang up the phone. then they'd call back 5 mins later and do the same thing. repeat 200 times. call me, yell, hang up when i try to explain myself. and so on. argh.

                                                        Comment


                                                          #29
                                                          Originally posted by rachel_t
                                                          very good question!! my parents would both react badly, but in different ways. my dad would be so unbelievably angry and disappointed in me. my mum would cry and blame herself and say she failed to raise a normal child. there'd be a lot of them calling me, me answering the phone, getting yelled at with "oh, i just cant believe you'd do this! you little bitch! blah blah blah oh god i just can't talk to you right now!" and they'd hang up the phone. then they'd call back 5 mins later and do the same thing. repeat 200 times. call me, yell, hang up when i try to explain myself. and so on. argh.

                                                          Man that sounds bad! I think that my parents would probably not really say anything much about it at all... Things do tend to be shoved under the carpet a bit in my family. There's certain things - generally sexual, but also other things - that don't get talked about at home. I guess it's a bit of a facade but it's just how things work and usually it's not a problem. I think I would prefer 'the silent treatment' to getting yelled at like that. But what I mean to say is, that it would be a silent strain on my relationship with my parents for a while (just like my losing my virginity was) until gradually they accept and get used to the idea, and then it still won't be talked about, but it'll not be quite such a stress...

                                                          Comment


                                                            #30
                                                            i think my parents would probably get over it in time. i guess for me its a little different though... if my parents were to find out about my modeling for AW, yeah they'd be pissed, but they'd get over it. for me the real issue is the fact that i've been getting nude professionally for three and a half years and have been lying to my parents about it for the entire duration.

                                                            ah, i love my parents, but sometimes i think my life would be so much less stressful if they were a little more tolerant and understanding, and a little less prejudiced and snobby.

                                                            Comment

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