Originally posted by Dekoda
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Some Humor
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LOL! This was actually on-air in the mid-1970s, I remember hearing it back then at least a couple times on the local rock station. The FCC banned it later on prolly because it was so corny-lol-but it was official.
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The Best Senior Workout in the World
The Doctor told me I should start an exercise program. Not wanting to harm this old body, I've devised the following:
Beat around the bush
Jump to conclusions
Climb the walls
Wade through the morning paper.
Drag my heels
Push my luck
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head.
Bend over backwards
Jump on the band wagon
Run around in circles.
Toot my own horn
Pull out all the stops
Add fuel to the fire
Open a can of worms
Put my foot in my mouth
Start the ball rolling
Go over the edge.
Pick up the pieces.
Kneel in prayer
Bow my head in thanksgiving
Uplift my hands in praise
Hug someone and encourage them.
What a Workout!
Rest At Last.
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For all you would-be writers...
Tips with English Grammar!
1. Don't abbrev.
2. Check to see if you any words out.
3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. When dangling, don't use participles.
6. Don't use no double negatives.
7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
8. Just between You and i, case is important.
9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
10. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
11. Its important to use apostrophe's right.
12. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.
14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should.
15. begin with a capital and end with a period
16. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.
17. In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas
18. to keep a string of items apart.
19. Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.
20. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
21. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
22. A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
23. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.
24. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with.
25. Avoid cliches like the plague.
If you saw something wrong with all 25 examples, thank your English teachers.
If you saw nothing wrong with them, there's just no hope for you....you should have stayed awake in English class.
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Oh Shit cont'd.
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Gary Larson is a very talented cartoonist and used publish cartoons under the title, " The Far Side". His works are still being reprinted even though he no longer draws cartoons having voluntarily withdrawn himself from this genre, much to his fans' disappointment. The following, drawn by a new artist, are some which remind me and hopefully you of "The Far Side". Enjoy.
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Originally posted by sterling2 View Post
Incidentally the jingle sounds like it was done by Jam Jingles. The Call letters sound much more like it was done by Johnny Mann Jingles. Back in the day the two companies were in a war for who could produce the best jingles.
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They got to. EAS regulations are grandfathered into cable programming providers.
Here's an example though of how a faulty issuing of an EAS alert can effect an entire chain of radio and TV stations over a wide region and cause undue panic across the cities.
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Passionate Lovemaking
An Italian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are discussing their previous night's lovemaking.
The Italian says: "I rubbed fine olive oil all over my wife, then we made wonderful love. She screamed for five minutes."
The Frenchman says: "I rubbed sweet butter on my wife's body, then we made passionate love. She screamed for half an hour."
The Englishman says: "I covered my wife's body with lard. We made love and she screamed for six hours."
The others say: "Six hours? How did you make her scream for six hours?"
"Simple, the Englishman replies: "I wiped my hands on the curtains."
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It's Tax Time! And Archie Bunker finds himself in hot water with the IRS for extra cash he made driving his cab on Sundays.
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A Fire Fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he
notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little
ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the
middle.
The girl is wearing a fire fighters helmet and has the wagon tied to a
dog and a cat.
The Fire Fighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice
fire truck" the Fire Fighter says with admiration.
"Thanks", the girl says.
The Fire Fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the
wagon to the dog's collar, and to the cat's testicles.
"Little Partner", the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how
to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the
cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl says, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a
siren."
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A tourist can tell when he's been in Florida too long...
Don't be surprised to run into these folks at the few topless beaches in Florida...
A typical day at the office on Casual Friday- or-that is, we wish sometimes...
Bike riding on the beach? Don't forget that helmet!
Guys, choose your rental bikes carefully...
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Differences between Man and Woman
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The Facts of Life
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